


As Time Goes By

by aumontalc



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 07:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 43,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8480908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aumontalc/pseuds/aumontalc
Summary: April leaves town shortly after Bailey's wedding only to return three years later. Do she and Jackson have a chance to work things out? Or has that opportunity come and gone?





	1. Chapter 1

_"Maybe this was a sign that we needed to stop. Honestly, I think it's for the best."_

Jackson's words kept running over and over through her mind like an annoying song she couldn't get out of her head. Try as she might she couldn't shake them. It had been such an emotional day. A pregnancy scare, a proposal, and a break up had rocked her world off its axis today. But had she and Jackson even broken up? Were they even dating? This whole friends with benefits thing was so confusing. Maybe Jackson was right. Maybe not sleeping with each other anymore was a good idea. But if it was, why did her heart ache? Why did she miss him already? Why was the thing she wanted the most in the world was to be in his arms?

This just didn't feel right. April hugged her pillow tighter and willed herself not to cry. She'd formed this habit at a young age when her first crush asked out Susie Hawthorne to the 7th grade dance instead of her. She'd told herself not to cry over a stupid boy, but to be strong instead. That thinking hadn't worked 18 years ago and it sure as hell didn't work now.

In the midst of her tears, she heard her phone buzzing. She prayed that it wasn't an emergency at the hospital because she seriously needed some time for herself right now. Glancing at her phone, she saw a text from Jackson.

_I left my iPod at your place. Can I come up and get it real quick?_

April wiped the tears from her cheeks. She quickly responded to his text, then raced to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face and hoping to ease some of the redness and puffiness from her face.

Too soon she heard a knock on the door. She made herself walk at a normal speed to the door. She opened the door and let him in. "I didn't get a chance to look for it. Do you know where you left it?" she asked.

Jackson walked over to her desk and picked up his iPod. "Got it," he replied.

"Glad you found it," April replied, feeling weepy again. It didn't seem like he wanted to talk after all. He really was here just to get his stuff.

Glancing at April, Jackson asked, "Are you OK?"

She laughed and shook her head. "I just got dumped tonight. Of course, I'm not OK!"

If it were physically possible, she would have kicked herself because darn and blast it if she wasn't crying _again_. And in front of Jackson to boot.

"Hey," he said in that soft way of his that always made her melt, always made her cave.

"No, no, don't," she said, waving him away and covering her face with her hands. "Don't…don't be like this. It's easier if we just distance ourselves."

"I'm sorry, April," he said, standing there helplessly. "I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Looking up, she had expected to see him moving away from her, but there he was statue still in front of her, his gaze zeroed in on her. Her breathing slowed but her heart began to pound as she returned his gaze and bit her lip.

"Don't," he breathed. "You know what looking at me that way does to me."

* * *

Stretching, April got up from the lumpy on call bed. She'd slept for two hours and she was still tired. It was all Jackson's fault. She'd gotten used to a certain activity before falling asleep each night. Now that that was no longer an option for her, she was having a lot of trouble getting to sleep on her own at night. She was having to catch up the few hours she could in between shifts.

Looking at the calendar alert on her phone, she realized that tomorrow was Bailey's wedding. Groaning, she threw herself a little pity party. She had originally planned to attend with Jackson, but now she just didn't want to go at all. Maybe she could get out of it. Cover somebody's shift?

* * *

April felt her heart sink as she glanced back at the chatting couple. Jackson looked happy and engaged in the conversation he was having with the younger intern. He hadn't looked up when she'd walked into the hotel. She bit her lip, feeling her insecurity rise. Maybe he didn't miss her like she missed him.

How had he gone from just a friend to the one and only person who consumed her thoughts? More importantly, why was she so jealous? After all, it was her idea that he take Stephanie to the wedding.

She turned back to her own date, Shane Ross. She didn't know what she'd been thinking asking an intern to come with her. Was she really that desperate? Not like it was a real date or anything but she would have had more fun attending alone.

Tapping her foot, she looked around to see if there were any signs that the wedding would start soon. She felt the need, the need to pee.

Checking one last time that the bride wasn't immediately on her way down the aisle, she rose from her chair, whispering to Ross that she'd be right back. As she passed Jackson and Stephanie, Jackson finally looked up and locked eyes with her. She stumbled for a second before righting herself and heading to the bathroom.

Minutes later as she left the bathroom, she found Jackson standing outside the door.

"Hey," she said.

"Your date couldn't find you. I was just going to tell you that the wedding has been put on hold for a bit. Looks like there's an emergency at the hospital."

She nodded. Damn, if he didn't look good in a tux. How would he react if she pulled him back into the bathroom for a quickie? They'd had sex in the men's bathroom in San Francisco. It only seemed right that they get busy in a women's bathroom as well.

"Do you need a ride back to the hospital?" he asked. "It looks like Ross has already headed back."

"No. I took my own car."

Jackson scratched his beard. "Well, Stephanie and I are going to head out then. See you later."

"Yeah, see you at the hospital."

Jackson took a step forward, but turned back to say, "You looked really beautiful tonight."

April's insides turned to mush. "Thanks. So do you. I mean...you look...you look great too."

Jackson bobbed his head in response before turning away once more. She watched his retreating back. How did he expect her to get over him when he said things like that?

* * *

April fanned herself. It was the middle of January. Why in the world was she so hot? Was the thermostat set too high again? She'd have the custodian check it the next time she saw him.

"Hey," she heard Jackson say behind her.

"Hi," she replied, waiting for him to speak.

"I am kind of sleeping with Stephanie."

At these words, a wave of nausea and sadness so fierce threatened to knock April over. Her surprise rendered her mute. They'd only split up like 7 weeks ago and he'd clearly already moved on. How ironic that he was over her and she wasn't even close to being over him?

He kept speaking for a few more seconds, but for the life of her she had no clue what he said. Her pain dulled all of her senses. It was only when he reached out to touch her that she reacted. She couldn't bear to feel his touch. It was too much for her. She knew she would end up in tears so she shied away from him.

"I miss you," she confessed. "I thought that we were friends. And now everything's just so…"

"So we can still be friends," Jackson protested.

April shook her head in disagreement. No. No, they couldn't just be friends. Her mind and her heart were screaming that what she felt for this man ran too deep to be just friendship.

"You know what I'm thinking about right now?" she whispered in some sort of crazy, last ditch effort. "Kissing you. Standing here looking at you and all I want to do is kiss you."

She paused for a moment, watching Jackson press his lips together, almost as if he wanted to kiss her as badly as she wanted to kiss him. Yet, he didn't do anything. Didn't say anything. So she continued, "So I'm not ready to be your friend yet."

"Are you sure?" he asked, his eyes seeming to plead with hers.

Swallowing, she resolved to be strong. He had moved on. So could she. "Yes. Yes, I'm sure. Thank you for telling me," she said, before collecting herself as best as she could after having a bomb explode on all her hopes and dreams. Taking her chart, she walked to her patient's room.

 _I can do this, I can do this_ became her inner mantra. Although it was almost overshadowed by her _But what if I can't?_

* * *

_Two Weeks Later_

"Hey Hunt, have you seen Kepner around?" Jackson asked, rubbing his hands together in anticipation of winning his friend back. "I've got a surgery she might be interested in."

Owen shot him an odd look. "She's not here," the older man replied.

Reaching for his phone, Jackson said, "I'll text her and tell her to come in."

"That's not going to do much good Avery. She's no longer in the state. Didn't you know?"

All of a sudden, Jackson's cheerful mood dissipated. "What don't I know?" he asked.

"April's resigned from Seattle Grace. She took a job in Connecticut."

"What?" Jackson replied, completely floored.

The Chief of Surgery's face took on a look of pity. "I thought she would have told you, Avery. You guys always seemed like such good friends."

Jackson swallowed. "I guess we weren't that good of friends if she goes off and leaves without a goodbye."

Owen clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm sorry man."

* * *

April looked out the plane window, contemplating her future. She was pressing reset because there was nothing left for her in Seattle. It was the perfect time for a fresh start. She was moving to a new town, working at a new hospital that didn't have the same reputation that Seattle Grace Mercy Death had, and most importantly, she thought looking down at the sonogram in her hand, she was carrying a new life.


	2. Chapter 2

_Three Years Later_

Jackson sighed. Would this argument ever end? They'd been going at it for over an hour. He just wanted something to eat and a beer. Maybe two.

"Stephanie, I love you. You know I do. Everything was going great with us. So why did you pick a fight the minute I got home from work?"

She rubbed her hands over her arms. "I don't know. I'm sorry. I know this fight is stupid. I don't really care that you didn't put the recycling out last night. I just…I just saw the ring Karev got for Jo today and I was jealous."

Jackson pressed his lips together. Marriage was _not_ something he wanted to talk about.

"I mean they've been together for what? Like two years? And we've been together for three. It just made me think about our relationship and where I'd like to see things headed. Do you ever think about our future?"

Swallowing, Jackson walked over to the sink to get himself a glass of water. He didn't know how to answer truthfully without hurting her feelings.

"Honestly, this is the future I see for us Stephanie. Us living together."

"You don't want more?" she asked. "Kids? A house? Marriage?"

Jackson didn't respond for a few minutes. He was summoning up the courage to tell her how he truly felt. "No," he whispered finally.

His girlfriend's face screwed up in pain. She was trying her best to keep the tears where they belonged, in her eyeballs. "Well, I do," she said. "Do you ever think you'll get to a place where you see us married?"

He shook his head. "I don't."

"Then, why are we together? If you didn't see this going anywhere, why didn't we end this long ago?"

Jackson stepped forward, trying to pull Stephanie close, but she backed away. "Don't, Jackson. I feel like I've made a huge mistake. I've fallen in love with someone who can't give me what I want."

"Come on, Steph. We can be happy just as we are. Aren't you happy with our life?"

Shaking her head, Stephanie replied, "I thought I was, but I'm not. I think I should stay over at Jo's for the next couple of nights. We can talk later this week. After I've had time to think."

Jackson nodded. "If that's what you think is best."

* * *

A sigh of relief exhaled from April's lips as she exited the attendings' lounge at Hartford Hospital where she worked in the ER four days a week. She absolutely loved her job and trauma was still her passion, but her life was not centered around work anymore. After a 12 hour shift, she wanted nothing more than to come home to her bright eyed and energetic 2 year old son, Jonah.

Before she could leave, one of the paramedics that had been in and out of the hospital all day, approached her.

"Hey, I've seen you around a lot and I think you're really cute. I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to go out sometime."

Sighing inwardly, April plastered a smile on her face. She got hit on here a lot more than she ever did in Seattle. She blamed it on the confidence motherhood gave her. She just didn't have time to take any body's crap any more. She was far too busy saving lives and raising a kid.

"I am really flattered, Matt, was it? But my life is completely swamped right now. My world revolves around this hospital and my two year old. I don't really have time for anything else."

The tall, handsome paramedic nodded his head in understanding, but looked disappointed by her response. "Well, if you change your mind, let me know."

"I will," April replied before heading towards the sliding glass doors.

As she got in her car, she briefly contemplated why she hadn't agreed to go out with the paramedic. He was cute. She'd even thought she'd seen him at her church a couple of times. But she shook her head, maybe in another life. Maybe if she hadn't met Jackson.

* * *

"Mom!" April cried joyfully as she opened the door of her apartment to let her mother in. She hugged her tightly. She hadn't been able to come home for Christmas so this was the first time she'd seen her mom since Thanksgiving.

"Baby, how are you?" Karen Kepner asked as she walked into the apartment.

"I'm good. Really good. Jonah's taking a nap so I thought I'd get started on dinner before he wakes up. How do tacos sound?"

"Sounds delicious, baby doll," Karen replied as she took a seat on one of the kitchen stools.

Over the course of the next half hour, April caught her mom up on the current state of her life, how much she loved her job, how smart and tall and clever her son was becoming. She even told her mom about the cute guy who'd asked her out today.

"You should have told him yes," her mom said.

April shrugged. "I'm not really interested in dating, mom. I've got enough on my plate with work and Jonah."

April jumped when her mom smacked her hand against the counter. "It makes me as mad as a hornet when I think of that dead beat leaving you to take care of that sweet baby all by yourself. It isn't right. He's got you so twisted up, you can't even move on with your life, which you should by the way. You deserve a good man who loves you. Forget about that jerk and live your life."

A twinge of guilt pinched April's heart. She'd never fully told her mom about the circumstances surrounding Jonah's conception. "It's not his fault mom."

"How can it not be? He should at least pay child support. It is his duty, you know?"

Biting her lip, she decided to bite the bullet and confess to her mom. "I never told him I was pregnant. He was already seeing someone else so I thought what was the point?"

"April. Marie. Kepner," Karen growled in a low voice. "How could you not tell him? Didn't he have a right to know? Doesn't your baby boy deserve to have his father in his life? If I had known that you hadn't told this Jackson fellow, I would've flown to Seattle and told him myself."

* * *

April kissed her son's forehead before pulling the covers over his sleeping body and turning out the light. Her mother had left this afternoon so they were slowly returning to their normal routine. Yet April couldn't seem to shake her mother's words of advice. _Tell him that he's a father before it's too late. There's a chance that he might not want to be involved, but if he does, are you really going to take that away from your son? Boys need their fathers, probably more so than they need their mothers. Think about your son. Think about what's best for him._

As she got in bed, April continued to stew over her guilt for not telling Jackson. She hadn't done it maliciously. She hadn't kept his son from him to get back at him for moving on with Stephanie. It was just that it had been such an awkward time. They'd gone through the pregnancy scare, but then she actually gets pregnant right after? Who would believe that?

And truth be told, she had desperately wanted, no, needed a fresh start. Her life in Seattle had become a lonely mess. She'd lost all of her friends from Mercy West either because they'd died or because she'd slept with them. She'd ruined her career by failing her boards. No one respected her there. The new interns even called her a dud. She had needed to move to Connecticut. It was one of the best decisions of her life. It had made her a better doctor and a stronger person.

Yet, she knew that she should have told Jackson about his baby. Not telling him was completely unlike her. It was cowardly. And she feared her mother was right. Her son would do better if he had his father in his life. All the research suggested that was true. Children are more successful in school and happier in general when they have both parents in their life.

So as much as she didn't want to. As scared as she was to return to Seattle, she knew she didn't have a choice. For her son and for her peace of mind, she would tell Jackson that he was a father - what he did with that information was up to him.

* * *

"Stephanie, just come home so we can talk this out. You don't need to make any rash decisions. We've been together 3 years, doesn't that count for something?"

Hearing a knock on the door, Jackson switched his phone to his other ear as he walked to the front door. Swinging it open, he stared in shock at the sight of April with a curly headed toddler on her hip.

"I'll call you back," he said as he hung up on Stephanie.


	3. Chapter 3

Jackson watched April feed the little boy a sandwich and some grapes out of her bag. She'd shown up at his doorstep ten minutes ago and other than hello and some pleasantries, they'd hardly said anything to one another. So many questions were running through his mind like why are you back in Seattle? Why did you leave in the first place? Who is this kid? Is he your son? And the question he had barely enough courage to ask in his own mind, is he mine?

"So how's the hospital?" April asked. "I heard the Avery Foundation bought it a few years back and that you're the head of the board."

Jackson nodded mutely. He couldn't get over seeing her. She was still beautiful, but there were some subtle changes. Her hair was longer, curlier. She looked like she'd gained some weight especially in her hips. Her boobs looked…amazing. Those were definitely bigger. He'd always been impressed by the size of her breasts given how tiny she was, but these, damn, he was having a hard time pulling his eyes away.

Also, she seemed more mellow. She wasn't quite as perky as she used to be. There was a confidence about her that he hadn't seen before. She seemed more sure of herself. It was pretty damn sexy truth be told.

Shaking himself out of his reverie, Jackson asked, "How about you? How's Connecticut?"

As April gushed about her job, Jackson listened half-heartedly. He didn't really want to hear how wonderfully her life was going after leaving Seattle, after leaving him. And also, more importantly, why hadn't she told him who this kid was already? April hadn't introduced him or anything.

Putting his hand up to stop her, Jackson said, "As much as I want to catch up with you, I'm a little confused. Why are you here? And who is he?" he asked, pointing at the kid.

Grabbing the little boy's plate, she walked over to the sink and began to scrub it. "I'm here because I needed to tell you something," she said. "And that's Jonah, our son."

When he was younger, Jackson loved jumping off of the playground swing at its highest point. Many times he would land on his feet, but sometimes he'd fall, _hard_ , and get the wind knocked out of him. His current struggle to regain his normal breathing pattern reminded him of those childhood days.

He shouldn't be so surprised. He had his suspicions about why April was here with a little kid in tow. He'd known deep down what she was going to tell him. What threw him off was the nonchalant way she had told him like _Oh BTDubs, you've got a kid now_.

"Mama, milk please?" the little boy, Jonah or was it Judah?, asked.

April looked in Jackson's direction and pointed her thumb to the fridge. "Do you have any milk?"

"Yeah, help yourself."

Jackson watched in shocked silence as April went about pouring milk in her son's sippie cup. What was wrong with her? Why wasn't she freaking out like he was? Why was she so calm? The irony of the situation didn't escape his notice. Usually, April was the one freaking out and he was the calm, cool, collected one. Now, there was a complete role reversal. She was all calm and cool and he was teetering somewhere between terror and panic.

Feeling himself zone out, Jackson forced himself to focus. You can't just sit here in silence he told himself. Speak up. Ask some questions.

"H…how?" he managed to blurt out.

"The original test was a false negative. I must have conceived towards the end of my ovulation cycle and that's why it was too early to see the hCG levels when I first took the test."

"It wasn't that night after we broke up?" Best. Break-up Sex. Ever.

April shook her head. "Nope, already pregnant."

Jackson rubbed his hands down the side of his face. "When did you find out? Did you know before Bailey's wedding?" he asked.

"I didn't know for a while. I was actually pretty stupid about it. I thought I was missing my periods because of stress. I didn't realize until January that it was something else."

"You were living in Seattle in January," he replied in a low voice.

"Yes," April replied, looking unsure as to where he was going with this.

"You were living in Seattle. So why didn't you tell me you were carrying my baby?" he asked, his voice rising.

Uncertainty and a little fear creeped into April's voice as she replied, "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Jackson hissed. "You don't know?"

At the anger in his father's voice, Jonah's face began to crumple. Within moments, a loud wail escaped from him. April quickly walked over to her son and picked him up. "Calm down, Jackson. You're scaring him."

Guilt and shame squeezed at his heart as he stared at his clearly terrified son. He was upset about this whole situation, as he had the right to be, but he couldn't help but notice how adorable his own child was. He was gangly and tall for his age and it looked like he'd inherited his own blue-green eyes. His complexion was just a little darker than April's.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I don't want to scare him. Hi little guy," he said, waving awkwardly at his son.

Jonah turned his head away and buried his face in his mother's shoulder. After a few moments, he was calm enough to be put back down. April grabbed a bag of blocks out of her purse and handed them to her son. Within the span of a minute, Jonah had gone from absolute despair to utter joy. The mood swings of children never ceased to amaze Jackson.

Jackson watched his son play for a moment before continuing their conversation. "Why are you telling me about this now?"

"I felt guilty," April admitted. "I realized that Jonah was going to need his father in his life."

Baffled, Jackson replied, "You're just figuring this out now. I've missed two years of his life. Two years!"

April began to tear up. "I'm sorry, Jackson. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. You had moved on with Stephanie and I didn't want to ruin that for you. I didn't want to make things more complicated than they already were. And I needed to get away."

"You had no right, April. You should have told me. It didn't matter that I was dating someone else. If you were pregnant with my kid, then you should have told me." Then, in a moment of seething anger and irrationality, he spat, "Unless, there's somebody else who could be his father. That's the only reason I can see you not telling me. Do you know for sure he is mine? Did you sleep with someone else?"

April spat back, "No, I'm not you. It takes me more than 3 weeks to get over someone. He is your son. You were the only one I was sleeping with back then. You're his dad. No one else. You."

"So you've slept with other people since me?" Jackson asked, immediately regretting the question. Why should he care if she saw other people? He was in a long term relationship with Stephanie after all.

Shrugging, April replied, "It's been three years. What do you expect? My sex life is not even relevant to this conversation. We should be talking about things that matter like whether you want to be involved in your child's life and if so, what's that going to look like?"

Jackson scoffed. "Of course, I want to be involved in his life. You can get your old job back in Seattle and we'll share joint custody."

"That's a bit unrealistic," April replied. "How about a weekend every few months? You could fly to see him. We wouldn't mind meeting you in Boston or sometimes we could come to Seattle. We could just play it by ear depending on work schedules."

By this point, Jackson was practically seething. She'd taken away two years of his son's life that he'd never get back and she thought she could just dictate when and where he would see his child? "You think that after everything I've missed there's any way in hell I'm going to budge an inch about this? I. Want. Joint. Custody."

"That's ridiculous Jackson! You don't even know him. He'll be scared to death staying with you. He's never been away from me for more than a day."

"Whose fault is it that I don't know him?" Jackson shouted. "You come here, drop this bomb on me, and expect me to be happy with the few crumbs you're willing to throw my way? Well, I'm not. If I have to take legal action, I will. In fact, I'll be calling my lawyer tomorrow to sort this mess out. You're lucky I only want joint custody. I'm sure I could get full if I wanted to."

"You wouldn't be that low," April hissed. "Who are you? Who have you turned into? This isn't the Jackson I remember."

"Why are you so surprised?" he asked. "I'm the same man who wanted to marry you when I thought you were pregnant. It really shouldn't come as a shock to you that I'd want to be in my child's life, that I wouldn't shirk my duties as a father. It really pisses me off April that you would do this to me, to him. I just can't help thinking what if you'd never told me about him? What if he'd grown up thinking his father didn't want him, didn't love him enough to stick around?"

Jackson felt like he was spinning out of control with anger. He felt like hitting something. He couldn't recall a time in recent history where he'd been this angry. The last time he'd felt like this he'd taken it out on a well deserving Karev. He couldn't help but think about his own childhood and how he'd missed so much growing up without a father. And now, April had gone and done the same damn thing to his son. One thing Jackson knew for sure was that he was never going to be like his dad. He'd never abandon his own flesh and blood.

"Joint custody, April. I deserve to make up for lost time. I'm sorry that you'll have to leave your precious job that you love so much, but you owe me. You owe it to Joseph."

"Jonah. His name's Jonah. If you're going to fight me for custody of him, you should know his name, don't you think?"

"Damn it, April. There's a lot of things I don't know about him like what's his middle name? Last name? Date of birth? I don't know anything about him. And I want to. I want to know my son. Can't you give me a chance to do so without fighting me tooth and nail over it?"

A sympathetic look passed over her face as though it suddenly dawned on her that he was the victim in this scenario not her. "His full name is Jonah Reed Avery. He was born on July 13, 2013. He's sweet and smart and all boy. He's my biggest accomplishment in life. My whole world revolves around him. I don't know what I'd do without him. Please don't do anything rash."

Jackson's face softened. She truly loved their son. By the looks of it, Jonah was a good kid. She'd done a fine job of raising him so far. He shouldn't be so hard on her, he thought, but then shook himself out of that pattern of thinking. In the past, he'd taken it upon himself to be her protector, her shoulder to cry on. Well, not anymore, he swore to himself. She'd revoked all those privileges when she'd chosen to deliberately withhold news of his paternity.

"I owe you nothing, April. I will do what's in the best interest of my son. You made a mistake, April. A huge one. Deal with the consequences," he replied unsympathetically.

As April was about to reply, they heard the door close and footsteps walking through the living room. "Hey Jackson, you were right. We should talk about us. Nothing's going to get solved by me staying at Jo's place."

Jackson watched in mute horror as Stephanie entered the dining room and caught sight of April and Jonah.

"What is going on here?"


	4. Chapter 4

Jackson turned on his phone and hit the FaceTime button. As he waited for his mother to pick up the call, he tried to steel his nerves. This wasn't going to be a fun conversation.

"Hey baby! How are you?" his mother gushed when she appeared on screen. Her happiness at getting a call from him made him feel a little guilty inside. He really should call her more often.

Rubbing his head and sighing, he replied, "Not so good."

His mother tsked. "Trouble with Stephanie?"

Jackson nodded. "She wants to get married."

"Excuse me for being crass, honey, but I think you either need to crap or get off the pot with that one. If you want to marry her, marry her. If not, it's best to end things with her. She's the kind of girl that wants the works - career, marriage and kids.

"Yeah, mom. You're right."

Looking through the phone, Catherine Avery appeared to be trying to see into the depths of her son's soul. "Something else is wrong, isn't it baby? Something bigger?"

Shaking his head from side to side in an effort to keep from getting emotional, he croaked, "I'm sorry mom. I'm sorry."

Catherine leaned forward in her chair as if trying to reach out and touch him. "What happened?"

Guilt rose up from the pit of his stomach, squeezing his airway. He was ashamed that he was having to tell his mother this way. He should be married. It should be a happy event. "I…I," he faltered. "I have a son."

At his news, his mother went practically bug eyed. "What?!"

"It's kind of a long story," he said, not sure that he wanted to tell his mother everything right now.

"Well, I have plenty of time. Speak," she ordered, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Um…OK, well, it's like this…" he tried, but stopped because he was unable to find words to explain the situation.

"Why don't you start with how you found out?" his mother suggested.

Nodding his head, Jackson started his story. "I found out last weekend."

"Last weekend?" his mother exclaimed. "You should have called me right after you found out."

"You want me to tell the story or not, mom?"

Catherine shook her head and tsked some more. "Go on."

"She just showed up on my doorstep with a kid. His name's Jonah. He's 2 years old. He's cute. Here I'll send you a picture of him."

Jackson looked through his photo album. Shaking his head, he chose the best picture out of the ones he had. "It's not the best picture, mom, but it's all I could find."

Seconds later, he watched his mom squinting at the picture. "Awww, my grand baby. I can see you in him. But why is he crying?"

"He's crying because he hates me," Jackson said, sounding more whiny than he wanted to, but he couldn't help it. It was completely disheartening that there wasn't some ingrained connection between the both of them. The couple of hours April had let him spend with his son alone had been disappointing to say the least. He had expected he and his son to bond and have fun together, but what had happened instead was not what he'd expected.

Catherine chuckled. "He doesn't hate you, honey."

"Yes, he does mom. I spent two hours with him on Sunday and all he did was cry. The one time I tried to pick him up he bit me and I'm not exactly sure what he said, but I think he told me to go away."

"Sounds like he's a little spitfire."

Jackson rolled his eyes. "That's an understatement. Plus, it seems like he's a total mama's boy. I practically had to beg April to let me spend some time with him and then it turned out to be a complete bust."

Catherine suddenly looked taken aback. "April? Are you talking about our April? April Kepner?"

"Yeah."

"April Kepner is the mother of your child?" At his nod, she continued, "When were you and her together? And why didn't I know about it?"

Shrugging, Jackson replied, "A while back, right before Stephanie. I didn't tell you because I didn't know exactly what we were. Were we friends? Were we in a relationship? I didn't know. Then, we broke up. Then, she left for good. Now, she's back and she drops this bomb on me. I don't know what I'm going to do, mom. She lives in Connecticut. She's happy there. My son's happy there. But…I want to spend time with him too. I want joint custody, but after last Sunday I'm not sure that's a good idea. You know, since my son hates me and all. Plus, I really don't want to have a legal battle with someone who used to be one of my closest friends."

Catherine nodded understandingly, but then shook her head in disbelief. "I still can't believe you and April were together. That she's the mother of your child. I never thought she was your type. But I see where you're coming from as far as custody goes. Have you asked her to move back to Seattle?"

"Yes, but she doesn't want to move back here."

"Well, she's going to have to. She can get her old job back at the hospital and you can both raise your son together. Maybe she could move in with you and that way the transition is a little smoother for Jonah."

Jackson scoffed. "That'll go well. It would be like some jacked up version of Three's Company. Me, April, and Stephanie all living together under one roof? I don't think that would work mom."

Catherine shook her head, a bemused smile on her face. "In all this, I'd forgotten about Stephanie which is odd because I do like her. She's a nice girl, but you're a father now. You've got to put your child first. Find a way to get April to come back. If we need to fight, we'll fight but you need to be a part of that baby's life."

* * *

"Stephanie, I think we should talk," Jackson said, taking her hand and leading her to sit on the edge of their bed.

Stephanie swallowed. "I have a pretty good idea what you want to talk about."

Jackson nodded, sure that she knew exactly where this was going, but she deserved an explanation. "You are such an amazing person. I care so much for you, but I think it's best if I'm not in a relationship right now. My focus needs to be on my son. Believe me, Stephanie, this is not how I pictured my life going. The last thing I wanted was to find out that I have a kid out of the blue. I'm not doing this to hurt you. And I'm not saying that we should break up for good. We just need to put our relationship on hold. We have a lot of things to think about. I do want you to know that us getting back together in the future is not off the table."

Blinking back tears, Stephanie replied, "I expected this. I did, but I'm still baffled. You say you love me, but the minute your kid shows up I'm completely out of the picture. Why does it have to be like that? Unless you want me out of the way so you can get back with April? Do you really believe that we'll get back together?" she asked, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "Because I don't. I can't shake this feeling that this is the end. Keeper's back in your life. I knew you two had a past, but I never thought I'd have to worry about it. Looks like she wants you back. And it looks like the odds are in her favor since she's the mother of your child and all. She just might get what she wants."

"Don't be ridiculous, Stephanie."

"I'm not being ridiculous, Jackson," she replied sharply. "Think about it. Why is she coming back now? Why did she have to come all this way to see you? Wouldn't a phone call have sufficed?"

"I'm not breaking up with you to get back together with her if that's what you're thinking."

"Well, we'll see," Stephanie shrugged dismissively. Sliding off the edge of the bed, she said, "I guess I better pack my stuff."

* * *

With not much resolved between her and Jackson, April had agreed to come back to Seattle to continue to talk things over and to give him a chance to get to know his son more. Poor Jonah was having a hard time acclimating to the idea of having a father. This past week April had done her best to prepare her son for their upcoming visit. She'd shown him lots of photos that they'd taken over the past when they were residents, when they were still friends. She'd hold Jonah in her lap and point to a picture of Jackson and say Daddy. She hoped it would stick.

With her one free hand, April knocked on the door. "Are you ready to see your daddy?" she said to an unresponsive Jonah. Sighing, she waited patiently for the door to open.

"Come in," Jackson said. "Hey, little man," he said to Jonah, reaching out for him.

Their son twisted his body away from his father, letting out an offended wail. "Noooo," he cried, batting his father's hand away.

Exhaling loudly, Jackson turned and made his way to the couch. April followed and set Jonah on the floor.

Reaching behind the couch, Jackson pulled out a bag. "I got him some toys," he said. "Thought maybe bribing him might make him hate me less."

April softened her gaze. "He doesn't hate you," she replied gently. "He just doesn't know you. Give him time."

As they watched their son play with his new toys, April decided to share with Jackson her decision. After a lot of praying and a lot of talking it over with her mom, she'd decided it would be best to move back to Seattle. It was the right thing to do. Her son needed Jackson. "So I've done some thinking and I thought over what you said." She paused for a moment before continuing, "I'm moving back to Seattle."

Jackson smiled, clearly relieved. "That's great, April. That's really great. We'll get you signed back on at the hospital. There's actually a trauma position open."

April returned his smile but not quite so enthusiastically. This was a huge step for her, moving back to Seattle. She would know everyone but everyone was sure to have changed, just like she had. Plus, she wasn't looking forward to telling everyone that she had a kid with Jackson. That was going to be one awkward story to tell.

"That sounds great. I guess I should start looking for a place while I'm here."

Jackson leaned forward, resting his arms on top of his knees. His head was down and he appeared to be deep in thought. He lifted his head to look in her direction.

"April, this might sound crazy, but I think you and Jonah should live here with me."

April laughed. "That's a bad idea. What would Stephanie think?"

"She wouldn't think anything. She doesn't live here anymore. What do you say? How about you and Jonah move in?"


	5. Chapter 5

"So you're moving in with him? Do you really think that's the best solution?" Karen Kepner asked.

April scratched her head as she continued folding clothes. Sighing, she replied, "I don't know, mom, but it's just a trial period. If it doesn't work out, then Jonah and I will find another place to move."

Her mother tsked. "April, baby doll, I just don't like the sound of it. You're unmarried. You shouldn't be living with another man. Think about what Pastor Ricky used to say. Living together before marriage is living in sin."

Rolling her eyes, April switched the phone to her other ear. "Mom, it's not like that. Besides we've lived together before as roommates. You didn't have a problem with that. Jackson and I aren't interested in each other…romantically." Biting her lip, April realized that wasn't quite the truth. If given a chance, she would definitely be interested, but the likelihood of him being interested was practically nonexistent. "Us living together is purely for Jonah's sake. It'll help with the transition and that way I won't have to be away from him."

When it came down to it, she knew that living with Jackson wasn't a good idea. She was afraid it would potentially open up a can of worms, but compared to the other option of her child spending half his time away from her - it was the lesser of two evils.

"Well, I don't like it," her mother said. "Just guard your heart, baby doll. I don't want that man to hurt you again."

* * *

Jackson finished hammering the last nail of the dresser drawer. Picking it up, he slid it into place. He wiped his head with his forearm and stood admiring his work.

"Looks good," April said, walking in with freshly washed sheets for the bed. "Just a few extra touches and Jonah's room will be ready. Thanks for all the help."

"It's no problem," Jackson shrugged.

"No problem, mama," Jonah parroted, dropping the plastic hammer he had used to "help" his father with on the floor and standing up.

Lifting Jonah up in his arms, Jackson flexed his arm. "It was easy, wasn't it Jonah? Because we have big muscles. Show mama your muscles."

With a tiny growl, Jonah flexed his little arm like his dad's. "Look my muscle mama."

April laughed and shook her head. "Yes, Jonah. You've got big muscles just like your daddy." While leaning over to give Jonah a kiss on the check, her breasts accidentally grazed against Jackson's forearm causing him to stiffen. Mentally, Jackson shook himself. Don't go down that road again, dude. There's nothing but heartache there.

"Daddy," Jonah said, touching his father's face. "Me hungry."

A wide grin broke across Jackson's usually straight face. His son had called him daddy for the first time. After a month, Jonah was finally getting used to him.

"Well, little man, let's go grab a bite to eat. How do burgers sound?" Jackson asked. "We'll go grab some and bring them back so we can help your mama finish up your room."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with me, Jonah?" she asked, looking worried that Jonah would have a major freak out on his outing with his father.

"No, me go with daddy. Get food," Jonah replied, clutching his father even more tightly.

"Relax, April, I've got this. Besides, we're long overdue for his introduction to Fat Guys' Burgers."

"Call me if you need me."

* * *

Jackson stretched his neck from side to side, hoping to release some tension. He'd been less than pleased to get a page from the hospital in the middle of lunch with his son and April. The day had gone so well. It was a shame it had had to end so soon, but he was a surgeon and helping out in times of emergency was part of his job.

"Sorry to ruin your weekend," Callie said. "But we needed plastics here. Did we interrupt anything too wild and crazy?"

"Not really," Jackson replied. "Just helping April settle into the apartment."

"Yeah, I heard she's coming back on Monday," Meredith said. "How's she doing?"

"She's good. Things are a little different though. I'll have her tell you when you see her next. It's kind of her news to share."

"Oooh, now I'm intrigued," Cristina said. "What's her address? Let's go find out what her secret is."

"She's staying at my place so you can visit any time."

The three female surgeons all looked up at him at the same time. The shock on their faces told him that he had some explaining to do.

"And Edwards doesn't have anything to say about your ex living with you?" Callie asked.

Jackson looked down at his patients' leg where he was performing a skin graft. "No. I mean she would if we were still together."

"You and Edwards broke up?" Grey asked, shaking her head. "I thought you two would be the next to get married…after Jo and Alex, of course."

"No. I just didn't see us going in that direction. I loved her of course but I liked our relationship as it was."

"Part of being in a relationship is comprising. It involves moving forward and growing as a you weren't willing to do that for her, maybe you'd didn't love her as much as you thought," Callie commented.

"Maybe you were just afraid of being alone for the rest of your life and you were just settling with Edwards," Cristina added.

Jackson hated to admit it, even to himself, because it would mean he was a douche, but he thought Callie and Cristina might just be right.

* * *

April sighed with relief. Jonah was finally asleep. Poor little guy. He was having a hard time adjusting to the new time zone and the new place and a new person in his life. Even though he had made some serious strides today. It looked like he and Jackson had done some serious male bonding today. She was almost certain that this afternoon was the first time Jonah had ever called Jackson daddy.

Shrugging out of her clothes, April turned on the shower. It would have been nice to have Jackson here though. To see what putting a child to bed is really like. It's not all ponies and rainbows. Sure you read bedtime stories and sing lullabies, but that's just Round 1. Round 2 consists of patting your son's back for half an hour hoping that the soothing gesture will lull him into a deep sleep. Jonah usually fell asleep twenty minutes into Round 2, but not tonight. They had gone all the way to the dreaded Round 3 where mommy turned off the lights and sat in silence responding to all Jonah's questions with a No. "No, you can't have a drink of water." "No, I won't read you another story." She would have gladly closed the door and left him to fall asleep on his own, but that would bring him to tears within seconds. So they both had sat in the dark, staring at each other for 45 minutes before Judah finally succumbed to the Sandman. And now April was finally going to take that shower she'd be fantasizing about.

* * *

As Jackson laid his keys down on the table next to the door, he spotted a little hook that April must have installed. It must be for keys, he thought, but too lazy to do anything about it he left his keys where they were. He shrugged out of his jacket and headed for the bathroom. Before making it there, he stuck his head into the room that used to be his office but had been remodeled into his little boy's bedroom. It was midnight so like he expected his son was fast asleep. He walked over to the bed and pressed a soft kiss on Jonah's curls. Leaving the room, he closed the door as gently as he could.

It had been a long day with helping April settle in and then being called to the hospital to help with some burn victims of a recent fire. Long and stressful. All he wanted was the blissful spray of steaming hot water pouring over him. Grabbing the edge of his shirt, he pulled it over his head and turned the knob of the bathroom door. To his surprise, it wasn't empty. April gave a surprise squeak. Throwing a wash cloth at him she yelled, "Get out!" Backtracking as fast as he could he made his way back to the hallway with a huge grin plastered on his face. It had been ages since he'd seen April naked. And damn, did she still look good.

* * *

April pressed a hand against her chest in an attempt to calm her nerves. Grabbing a towel, she wrapped it around her body.

It was just Jackson, she told herself. What had she expected? She should have locked the door. She had gotten so used to living alone that she didn't do that anymore. Well, she'd have to start thinking about those things again. Sighing, she gathered up enough courage to go out into the hallway. Jackson probably hadn't seen anything anyway. It was just her overactive imagination.

The moment she stepped into the hallway and caught a glimpse of his smirky grin. She knew. He had seen everything.

"Shut up," she murmured, reaching out to smack him, an impulse from the years they had spent as friends.

"What?" he asked, still grinning impishly. "I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to," she said, poking her finger in his face. "But I know what you are thinking and you should stop thinking it."

"You don't know what I was thinking."

"Yeah, I do. You were thinking about seeing me…naked," she said in a shy voice that a single mother of a 2 year old had no business using. She'd obviously been naked before. A lot. It had just been years since the last time anyone had seen her that way, since Jackson had seen her that way. Jackson had been the last one, the only who had despite her hinting to him that there had been other guys in the mean time.

Jackson chuckled. "I guess you did know what I was thinking." Tenderly, he swept a lock of her hair back into place.

April looked into his blue-green eyes and cursed herself the minute she did. She shouldn't go down this road again. She knew that he'd moved on. He didn't have these feelings for her, but man, oh, man did she still have feelings for him. That's why he'd been the only one. She'd always used her son as an excuse, but he wasn't the reason why she didn't get involved with other men. The six foot tall man in front of her was the reason. She loved him and had for a long time.

Taking a step forward, she willfully chose to ignore her mind's rational cries to think before acting. Taking another step forward, she rested both hands on Jackson's bare chest and ran them up to his shoulders. She tilted her head to the side and stared deep in his eyes. This was where she would stop, she told herself. In the past, she would be the aggressor. She would go straight for what she wanted. Now, she had to know he wanted it too, that he wanted to kiss her as badly as she wanted to kiss him. _Kiss me, kiss me_ , she pleaded with her eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Jackson didn't know what to do. April was looking at him with those tempting doe eyes of hers, pleading with him. He knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted him to kiss her. And damn it if he didn't want to kiss her too. Yet, in his mind a thousand warning bells were going off. They'd been down this road before and it had ended in utter disaster. He had to protect his heart. Now, he just had to figure out a way to get out of this situation without hurting April.

The next moment he no longer had to worry about what to say or do because April backed away on her own.

"Is that Jonah?" she asked, her head tilted in the direction of his room.

Straining his ears, he tried to hear a sound, any sound, but failed to do so. At this point, April was on her way into their son's room. Opening the door, they found a wide awake Jonah playing with his toy trucks on the floor.

"Jonah!" April gently scolded. "You are supposed to be in bed."

"Wanna play mama," Jonah whined as he was picked up off the floor and walked back towards the bed.

"No, Jonah. It's nighttime. At nighttime, we sleep. In the morning, we'll play."

Jackson watched as April put their son to bed for a second time. He was completely floored. How in the world had she heard Jonah? Since becoming a mother, she must have developed Spidey sense or supersonic hearing. He couldn't help being impressed. He would have never heard Jonah in a million years.

Looking back at Jackson, April said, "You don't have to stay here for this. It'll be a while before he drifts off again. Go ahead and take your shower."

Jackson nodded and backed out of the room. He knew he should be feeling relieved that they'd been interrupted instead of feeling disappointed. But he couldn't stop wondering if her lips tasted as good as he remembered. He mentally shook himself. He had no business going down that road. Once he started, there was no way he could stop. April was like a bad addiction. He remembered needing her so badly it had physically hurt. Even when she'd compared him to a car wreck or made him feel like crap for her feeling guilty all the time, he'd still kept coming back for more like some lovesick puppy. No, he'd broken the cycle once. There was no way in hell he would willingly allow himself to get on that twisted carnival ride again.

* * *

As April got Jonah ready the next morning, she thought about what had almost happened last night and revelation dawned on her. She wanted Jackson back. Although she didn't know it at the time, that was part of the reason why she had said yes to his offer to move in with him. She wanted another chance with him.

But they had done everything wrong the first time. They had started everything too quickly, practically out of thin air with zero build up to a real relationship. Also, she hadn't taken into consideration his feelings. She had only cared about her own guilt and shame. That was her biggest regret whenever she thought about the two of them — that she'd been so self-centered. No wonder why he'd wanted to end things.

She was wiser now. She knew that a relationship would take a lot more effort on her part. And as much as she'd wanted things to escalate quickly last night (3 years of celibacy was definitely taking its toll), she knew that that wasn't how to go about rekindling their relationship. For starters, it was way too soon. Jackson had just met his son. On top of that, he had broken up with Stephanie like two minutes ago. No, April decided, her best course of action would be to wait a few months before saying anything. Hopefully, Jackson would just pretend that last night's lapse hadn't happened.

* * *

With Jonah on her hip, April walked into Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. She had come in to sign her contract and fill out her benefits paperwork, but she thought she would take the opportunity to introduce everyone to her son. It was better to get the hard part over first, right? Rip off the band-aid quickly.

"This is where mama is going to work," April whispered to Jonah. "Daddy works here too."

"Daddy? Where daddy?" Jonah asked, turning his little head and searching the area for signs of his father.

"He is probably in surgery or visiting with a patient, buddy, but he will come and see you as soon as he can," April replied as she pushed the number five button on the elevator.

To her surprise, when the door opened on the second floor, Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey were the next ones to get on. Their faces registered acknowledgement which quickly turned into surprise as they caught sight of Jonah.

"Hey, Kepner," Cristina said as she stepped into the elevator. "Jackson told us you were coming back, but he didn't tell us you had a kid."

"Umm, yeah," April replied nervously. "This is Jonah. Jonah, wave hi."

Jonah apparently didn't feel like waving hi but chose instead to bury his head in his mother's shoulder. "I'm sorry. He's a little shy. So what have you guys been up to?" she asked.

The other women laughed awkwardly. "April, I feel like your life is far more interesting than ours lately," Meredith replied. Motioning to Jonah, she asked, "How old is he?"

"And more importantly, who is the father? It's Jackson, isn't it?" Cristina asked, polite social norms be damned.

"Jonah is a little over two and yes, Jackson is his father."

"He's right around Bailey's age. We should have a play date some time," Meredith said, smiling at Jonah.

Cristina sighed loudly and rolled her eyes. "Both of you are boring me to tears with all this mom stuff. You need to give us details Kepner. There's a story here, an interesting one, for the first time since I've met you and you're holding out on us. You left three years ago and now you're back with a kid calling you mama. Stuff has happened and you need to share."

April shrugged. "There's not really much to share. I left Seattle and moved to Connecticut. When I went to Connecticut, Jackson didn't know I was pregnant. Then, I decided to tell him he had a son. Now, he knows and I'm back in Seattle. Pretty uninteresting."

"Well, the way you tell it, it is…" Yang replied sarcastically, earning her a slap on the arm from Meredith.

"Are you and Jackson back to banging 24/7?" she asked next.

Blushing beet red, April cleared her throat. "I don't think that's an appropriate question to ask Cristina. He and Stephanie have just broken up."

"Well, at least you and Meredith have something in common now that you're both home wreckers."

Meredith looked as if she were about to respond to Cristina's mean-spirited remark but ended up shrugging in acceptance. It was pretty accurate after all, especially in her case.

Sighing, April decided not to respond at all to Cristina. Turning to exit the elevator, she realized that things weren't so different in Seattle. Meredith and Cristina hadn't changed at all. Their nickname, the Twisted Sisters, still fit them to a T.

* * *

Jackson was doing his best to entertain Jonah who was starting to get a little antsy. Sometimes, he really felt like he was holding his own in the fatherhood department, but moments like these made him realize just how clueless he truly was. April was busy talking with Human Resources and signing her paperwork so he'd taken Jonah off her hands so she could get things taken care of. He'd bought a snack and a juice for him, but his son was still acting squirrelly. Running out of options, he decided to head to the play room in the children's wing.

Finally, Jonah was in a better mood. In fact, Jackson and his son were having a grand time playing on the indoor jungle gym when he began to notice a couple of pairs of eyes on him.

"I didn't know you loved playing on the jungle gym so much," Karev said as he walked up to Jackson with Arizona Robbins right alongside him. "If I had, I would have gotten you a swing set instead of that bottle of Scotch for your birthday."

"Daddy," Jonah, noticing that his father wasn't paying him the attention he thought he deserved, tugged on the bottom of Jackson's scrubs. "Play with me."

"Daddy?" Arizona asked, looking at Jonah before looking back at Jackson trying to note any similarities that suggested the two were related.

Swinging Jonah up into his arms, he introduced his son to the two doctors. "Robbins, Karev, this is my son Jonah."

Karev laughed. "Is this some kind of prank? You're pulling our leg, right? When did you have time to have a kid?"

Jackson sighed knowing there was no way he was getting out of awkward story time. "Nope. I'm not joking. I just found out about him a little over a month ago. He's mine and April's."

"Kepner has a kid?" Karev asked, shock registering on his face. "That doesn't sound like her. She would have told you about him. She told you when you guys had that pregnancy scare."

"Look I don't really have time to go into the details, but he's mine and I know about him now and that's all that matters."

Arizona seemed a little less interested in the story of how Jonah came about and a little more intrigued by Jonah himself. She was smiling and making cooing noises at him. "Aren't you the cutest?" she asked.

Jonah opened his arms out to her and she promptly took him in her arms. His son quickly became enraptured with her, touching her blonde hair in wonder. Jackson hated to admit it, but he was a little jealous of how easily his son warmed up to her, a virtual stranger. "He seems quite taken with you," Jackson said.

Arizona laughed. "I often have that affect on men five and under."

Jackson shook his head. "I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little flabbergasted. He hated me when he first met me. It's only been in this past week that he can even stand to be in my presence."

"It's not just your son that feels that way, Avery," Karev quipped.

Ignoring Karev's sarcastic remark, Arizona continued, "It's pretty natural for toddlers to be that way especially around males. After all, he grew up with just his mom around."

"Hey guys," they heard April say as she walked in the room. "How's my little guy? I see he's already charming the ladies."

"He's adorable, April. Such a sweetie," Arizona replied, passing Jonah off to his mother. "We're glad you're back. The ER hasn't been the same without you. We need someone to whip it back into order."

April smiled warmly at the other woman. "I think I can handle that. Well, I think this little guy is getting hungry. Do you guys want to join us for lunch?"

"How about a rain check?" Arizona said. "We've got a surgery in half an hour, but we'll have to catch up soon."

"Definitely," April replied while Jonah waved bye to his new friend without any encouragement from his mother.

* * *

"I think Jonah's worn out," Jackson observed, noting how his son kept yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"Today's been a lot for him. For me, too. I could definitely use a nap myself."

Finishing the last bite of his sandwich, Jackson motioned to the both of them. "Why don't you take him home and you both can nap?"

April sighed. "I wish I could, but I still have to sign him up for daycare. I'm so glad we have one in the hospital. I had to hire a nanny in Connecticut and it was brutal going hours without seeing Jonah. This way I can pop in and see him anytime I'd like."

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to that too," Jackson admitted. "Well, why don't I take Jonah home and let you finish up here?"

"You don't have to do that Jackson. Jonah's a good boy. He might get a little fussy, but I can handle it. I'm used to it."

Jackson felt as if a knife had gone straight into his heart. She was used to it. She'd been a single mom for years and for no reason at all. She hadn't had to go through it alone. She'd chosen to. Anger and resentment over that fact bubbled to the surface again. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he wiped the yogurt off his son's face and then scooped him up into his arms. "Well, you don't have to do everything by yourself any more. I'm here now. I don't have any more surgeries today so I'm going to take him home so he can take a nap in his own bed."

* * *

Caught off guard, April nodded in agreement. Standing up, she bent to kiss her son's forehead and whispered, "Be good for your daddy," before Jackson took off and left the cafeteria.

As she was throwing away the trash from lunch, April was surprised to see Stephanie Edwards heading her way. Biting her lip, she tried to decide if there was anything she could do to escape this situation. For a moment, she even contemplated hiding behind the trash can. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation in front of the whole hospital.

Alas, there was nothing she could do but plaster a fake smile on her face before Edwards arrived a few feet in front of her. "Kepner, could I talk to you for a moment?" she asked. "I have a question for you."


	7. Chapter 7

April followed Stephanie out of the cafeteria. She had a feeling deep in her gut that the other woman didn't want to discuss her latest surgery or anything medical related. No, this discussion would be 100% about Jackson.

Finding an empty patient room, Stephanie closed the door behind them. Turning to April, she said, "Ever since you came back I haven't been able to shake this feeling. And I don't want to come across as rude because I've always respected you."

April scoffed at that last remark. "Yeah, right," she couldn't seem to stop herself from saying. She vividly recalled the woman standing before her calling her a "dud" in the past.

At first Stephanie looked taken aback by April's reaction, but then nodded in slight agreement. "OK. Maybe at first I didn't take you seriously but after seeing you work in the ER I gained a whole new respect for you." Stephanie didn't say anything else for the next few moments as she paced back and forth, attempting to collect her thoughts.

April waited patiently, not knowing what to expect. It was clear the other woman hadn't invited her here just to give her a half-assed compliment but a minute had ticked by and she still hadn't said anything. "Was that all you wanted to say?" April asked, looking at her watch. She'd like to finish up at the hospital sometime before the end of days.

Stephanie's focus returned to her. "Look, I don't know how to go about asking this nicely," Stephanie began. "I don't think there is a polite way to do so. So I'm just going to say it…is Jonah really Jackson's?"

Stephanie's question rendered April speechless. Never in a million years would she have thought someone would question the paternity of her child. Those that knew her knew she didn't sleep around. She had been a virgin for 30 years, for heaven's sake. Her befuddlement quickly turned to anger. Who was Stephanie to say such a thing to her?

"Excuse me?" April asked. "You did not just ask me that. I have never given any indication that anyone but Jackson could be Jonah's father."

Stephanie shook her head. "Really? Because I think it is super suspicious how you just show up out of the blue claiming Jackson is your son's father. I mean a normal person would tell a guy when she got pregnant. So yeah, excuse me, if I have doubts that you're telling the truth."

Frustrated beyond belief, April took to pacing back and forth herself. This wasn't like her she knew, but she couldn't seem to shake her anger. "I am telling the truth," she practically shouted.

Shrugging her shoulders, Stephanie replied, "I think you should take a paternity test. That way it would prove without a shadow of a doubt who Jonah's father is or isn't."

Not sure if she could stay in the same room with the other woman without decking her, April walked to the door. With her hand on the door knob, she turned to face Stephanie once more. "I will be doing no such thing. I'm not a slut so I know _without a shadow of a doubt_ who my child's father is. I'm sorry if our arrival messed things up with you and him but that's not going to change the facts. Jackson is Jonah's father and you're just going to have to deal with it." And with that, April walked out slamming the door behind her.

* * *

An hour later, April was still fit to be tied when she arrived home. The nerve of that woman! To have her character questioned like that made her feel so low. She suspected that coming back when she did would leave her wide open for pot shots and catty remarks, but she never imagined that someone would think she was trying to con Jackson.

Hanging her keys on the key hook, she stepped out of her shoes and headed for the fridge. It didn't matter that it was only two o'clock in the afternoon. She needed a drink badly. Grabbing a beer, she went looking for Jonah and Jackson.

Quietly opening the door to his room, she found Jonah sound asleep on his bed with Jackson on the floor next to him playing on his phone. Hearing her come in, he looked her way. "Hey," he said as he started to stand up. "He just fell asleep like 10 minutes ago. I knew he needed a nap but he was fighting it with all his might."

April nodded in understanding. "Ever since he turned two he hasn't been much of a napper."

"That might have been nice to know before I took him home," Jackson replied.

Smiling, April shrugged. "I can't tell you everything about being a parent. Some things you've just got to learn on your own."

"I feel like becoming a dad is like being initiated into a fraternity except it doesn't last for just a week."

Taking a swig of her beer, April concurred, "Yep, it's for the rest of your life, Jack-man."

As they exited the room together, Jackson noted, "You're starting pretty early today. You were never much of a drinker. Have you become a lush since the last time I saw you?"

April shook her head. "No, it's just been kind of a rough day."

"You seemed fine at lunch. Did something happen after?"

April debated whether or not she should tell him. But the awkwardness of the whole situation made her loathe to want to relive it again. Instead, she chose to share another concern that was on her mind. "Oh, it's nothing really. I just stopped by the ER today and realized how much work it still needs. It is so unorganized."

* * *

Jackson eyed April sensing that she hadn't quite told him the truth. Something was bothering her and it wasn't just the status of the ER. Four years ago he would have pressed her until she confessed to him what was wrong. Now, the years they'd spent apart and the bitter sting of resentment kept him from digging deeper. But no matter how upset he was at her, they still had a bond and more importantly, a child. He wouldn't allow them to become anything more but maybe they could return to the friendship they'd once had.

Walking to the kitchen, he grabbed a beer for himself. "Here I'll join you," he said, returning to the living room and joining her on the other side of the couch.

"So things haven't changed much at the hospital. Except you're the boss of it now," April said. "How's that going?"

"It's going alright. I just miss being a surgeon. I feel like I've traded in surgeries for board meetings."

"Can't you delegate that duty to someone else then?" April asked.

Jackson shook his head. "Not really. The Avery Foundation helped buy the hospital. I'm an Avery so that means I have to babysit it for my family."

April laughed and smiled a smile reminiscent of one of the many she'd flashed throughout their friendship. He'd missing seeing it. He'd missed seeing her. Three years had been a long time.

"One thing that changed was not having you around. It was hard at first not seeing you every day. I missed you."

Biting her lip, April gazed into his eyes. Maybe he shouldn't have said that last part out loud. Here they were getting into risky territory again. "I missed you too," she confessed huskily. Then, as if she realized where things were headed she stood up quickly. "How about I get us something to eat? Chips and guacamole sound good?"

Before Jackson could nod his head in agreement, April had already taken a few steps in the direction of the kitchen but upon stepping on one of Jonah's trucks she quickly toppled back towards the couch. Jackson snaked one arm around her to break her fall but was not wholly successful. A moment later, they were awkwardly entangled on the couch, his arm still encircled around her waist as she lay sprawled against him with her breasts dangerously close to his face. A few centimeters closer and he'd be able to kiss her nipple. Not that he'd want to do that or anything he told himself.

Pressing both hands against his chest, April started to lift herself away from him.

"Those darn trucks. I've got to get him to be better at picking them up," April groaned as she continued to disentangle herself from Jackson.

Jackson bit his lip to keep a different kind of groan from escaping as her thigh grazed a region just a little south of his belt. He breathed a sigh of relief when she was once again on her own two feet.

"Now, I'm going to get us something to eat for real," April laughed uncomfortably.

Jackson stood up himself. "You know I think I'll pass on the snack. I should get my run in before Jonah wakes up."

He hoped she wouldn't notice that he'd already taken a run earlier this morning as he made his way out the door.

* * *

An hour later, Jackson returned from his run to find April and Jonah building a castle together on the floor. Seeing his father, Jonah stood up and ran to him. "Daddy!" he exclaimed.

If someone had asked him three months ago what made him happy, he would have said seeing his team win a championship or performing surgeries, but not anymore. Hearing his son call him daddy gave him the greatest joy. He was completely awestruck. He'd made another life. Another human was walking around on this planet because of him.

Scooping his son off the ground, he turned Jonah upside down, dangling him by his feet. "Help!" Jonah cried breathlessly in between a fit of giggles. "Mama help me!"

April stood up and rolled her eyes. "You're going to break his neck."

Jackson flipped Jonah right side up and set him back on his feet. Giving him a swat on his bottom, he urged him forward. "Pick up your toys little man. Your mom's got a bad habit of tripping over them with her two left feet."

April smacked him on the arm. "I don't have two left feet. I'm very graceful I'll have you know."

"Whatever you say…" Jackson replied as he bent to help his son put his toys back in the basket.

"Hey, while you were gone your phone was ringing. The caller ID said it was your mom so you probably ought to call her back."

Continuing to pick up the toys, he shrugged. "I'll call her later. She's probably just calling to give me her flight info. She's stopping by for a visit next week."

"Oh," April replied in surprise.

"I mean she's Jonah's grandma. She's got to meet him some time."


	8. Chapter 8

Catherine Avery walked up to the front door of her son's apartment and knocked on the door with an overwhelming sense of excitement along with a dash of nerves. She was head of the Avery Foundation and a successful surgeon. She shouldn't be feeling like a giddy schoolgirl, but she couldn't help it. She had a grandbaby! Although it had happened under all the wrong circumstances, she was over the moon that she was finally a grandmother.

A few moments later, the door opened and Catherine came face to face with April. The younger woman was smiling, but looked paler than usual.

"Hi Catherine, come on in," she said as she opened the door wider. "Jackson is still in surgery but he said he'd be finished in a couple of hours."

"Good to see you again, April," Catherine replied as she set her luggage down in the living room. On the floor, she noticed Jonah playing with his toys. Bending to his level, she asked, "And who is this little cutie?"

April walked over and knelt down next to her son. "Jonah, honey, this is your grandma. She is your daddy's mom. Say "Hi, grandma."

Jonah looked up at Catherine with those beautiful blue-green eyes that were an exact replica of his father's. "Hi, Gam-maw," he said like his mother had told him to and then went right back to playing.

Catherine's heart melted at the sound of her new name. She'd been Catherine, Dr. Avery, mom, but this was the first time she'd ever been called grandma and it was infinitely dear. Unable to contain herself, Catherine reached for Jonah intending to pick him up and give him a hug. As she began to lift him into her arms, his content and placid attitude radically changed. Gone was the pleasant little boy who had welcomed her and in his stead was a red-faced angry toddler.

Stepping in to remedy the situation as quickly as possible, April scooped him into her arms. She smiled awkwardly in Catherine's direction as she bounced Jonah up and down and rubbed his back in an effort to cajole him.

"I'm sorry about that Catherine. It just takes him a long time to warm up to new people. Once he gets used to having you around, he'll stick to you like glue."

Catherine couldn't help feeling a bit hurt by her grandson's reaction. "Jackson warned me that he was a bit of a mama's boy."

At this, April laughed causing Catherine to look in her direction questioningly.

April shrugged. "I'm sorry. It just takes one to know one if you know what I mean."

"No, I don't know what you mean," Catherine replied, not amused.

April set a calmed Jonah back down on the carpet. "Well, it's just that Jackson is clearly a mama's boy himself."

Catherine looked at the woman who had been such a good friend to her son and was the mother of her grandchild. She had intended to be civil during this trip. She really had, but April's comment had caused something to snap inside her. "If my son is a 'mama's boy', then it's through no fault of his own. I was a single mother and not by choice. His dad cut out when he was just a toddler so Jackson had no one but me. Do you even understand what you've done here?" she spat, feeling her ire rise even more.

All mirth had left April's face. She stood completely still, unable to move or speak. Catherine knew April had probably gotten the message, but she needed to make sure that her point was driven home.

"You, for goodness knows what reason, chose to keep your son away from his father for years. I'm sure you've noticed that my son is not good about opening up and sharing his feelings, growing up without a dad will do that to you. It's great that you had a change of heart and decided to tell him after all, but you've already done a huge amount of damage. How do you think he feels?"

"I…I know he's mad," April replied, tripping over her words.

"It's more than that, honey. You've made him feel like he's just like his father. Somebody who left and abandoned him. Now, he feels guilty for not being around from the start with Jonah."

"That's…that's not his fault," April protested. "That's mine and I'll explain that to Jonah when he gets older."

"Damn right, it's your fault, but it doesn't change the way Jackson feels. You've made him feel like he's some deadbeat dad which is the furthest thing from the truth and for that, I'll never forgive you."

* * *

Jackson looked up at the clock as he finished stitching the last stitch on his patient. He was already an hour and a half late. Mentally crossing his fingers, he hoped that everything was going well at home. He'd fully intended on being there when his mom showed up. He prayed that she was being nice to April.

Stephanie, who had joined him for the surgery, glanced his way. They hadn't really spoken in the last few weeks unless it pertained to work. He'd been so wrapped up in getting adjusted to fatherhood he hadn't thought of her much which made him feel a little guilty. Maybe Yang was right. Maybe he didn't like being alone and Stephanie had been used to fill that void.

"How's life?" she asked.

Jackson shrugged. "Busy. I'm getting used to being a dad and Jonah's slowly getting used to me."

"He's a cute kid," Stephanie noted as she began to extubate their patient. "I have to say he looks more like April than you."

"I wouldn't necessarily say that. Obviously, he's gonna be lighter than me because his mom's white, but I notice a lot of similarities between us. He's got my eyes and my forehead. And when I was a kid I had the same mop of curls slapped on my head. Except it looks better on him that it ever did on me. Plus I think he's going to have the same build as me. He's tall for his age."

"Yeah, but are you sure he's yours? I would hate for you to go through all this only to find out he's somebody else's. I think you should get a paternity test."

Jackson followed Stephanie as she left the operating room and stepped into the wash room. As he took off his gloves and gown, his eyes bore straight into hers. "He's mine. All I need to do is look at him to know. And I know April. I'm not exactly pleased with her right now, but I know she's not a liar."

Stephanie looked taken aback for a moment, but then her face crumpled. On instinct, he took her into his arms and let her cry against his shoulder. It was the least he could do after all that he put her through.

"I'm sorry Jackson. I guess I was just hoping that there was something that could make all of this go away. Jonah not being yours would be the quickest fix so to speak."

"Yeah, but now that I have him I don't know what I'd do without him," Jackson confessed. "He's kind of my whole world."

"I guess I just wish I was still part of your world. Ugh, that sounded like a line from The Little Mermaid," Stephanie laughed, rolling her eyes. "Breaking up didn't feel right to me, Jackson. I want to try to see if we can make this work with your son and April in your life. Let's go out to dinner this weekend and see how things go," Stephanie suggested.

* * *

Catherine took a sip of wine before taking another bite of the chicken alfredo April had made for dinner. After April had received the brunt of her temper, things were eerily quiet. She admitted to herself that maybe she'd gone a little too far. But when that mama bear rose up inside of her there wasn't much she could do to control it.

At the sound of a turning door knob, April finally spoke, "I think that's Jackson."

Jonah, excited to his core, began to wiggle out of his booster chair and on to the floor. He made a bee line straight for his dad. "Daddy!"

Laughing, Jackson swung his son up into the air. "How was your day, little man?"

Jonah, being two, didn't reply to his father's question but instead wrapped his arms around his neck. Catherine felt a joy she hadn't felt in years creep into her heart. Her baby was going to be OK, she thought. There might be some rough terrain ahead but it was clear that he loved his son and was going to make a terrific dad.

"Hey mom," Jackson said as he walked over to give her a hug with Jonah still in his arms. "How was your flight?"

"It was fine. It seemed like a long flight, but I think it was me anticipating meeting my grandbaby that made it feel that way."

"Do you know who this is?" Jackson asked Jonah. "This is your grandma."

"Gam-maw!" Jonah mimicked with a big smile on his face.

Jackson attempted to sit Jonah back down in his own chair but Jonah clung even tighter. "You want to sit with me?" he asked as he took a seat next to his mother. The little boy nodded.

Catherine sneaked peeks at her son and grandson as the dinner went on. Jackson was such a natural. It was like Jonah had always sat on his lap to eat dinner instead of just the last couple of weeks. She was so proud of her boy!

* * *

"So I brought something for us to look at," Catherine said after dinner.

"What'd you bring?" Jackson asked.

"Your baby book," she said.

Jackson groaned. "You're going to bore people to tears with that."

"I just thought it would be fun for you to see how much he looks like you when you were a little kid."

Coming out of the kitchen, April said, "I have Jonah's baby book too. We could compare their baby pictures. It'll be fun."

Baby books in hand, the four of them sat on the couch together. Catherine sat in between Jackson and April. This time Jonah chose to sit in his mom's lap.

Jonah reached over to point at a picture of a newborn Jackson. "Who that?" he asked.

"That's your daddy," Catherine replied, risking his rage and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "That's him when he was just a tiny little baby."

April opened up to the picture of Jonah as a newborn and tapped it. "This is you, buddy, when you were the same age as your daddy. Do you think you look like him?"

Jonah's little face screwed up in disgust. "No. Baby ugly. I cute."

Laughing, April squeezed him tight. "You were the cutest little baby that ever lived. Even with your squished up little, red face. Mama was so blessed to have you."

Catherine shot a glance at Jackson. His gaze was cast downward and his fists were balled up. He was clearly upset but doing his best to hide it. He probably wouldn't want her to step in, she thought, but too bad. She was his mother and she'd do as she'd like.

"Well, since we weren't around to see him being born. Why don't you tell us about it April?"

"Mom…" Jackson protested.

"Don't mom me. She should tell us."

Before Jackson could protest again, April said, "Your mom's right. I should tell you. There's not much to the story. He was a week early. Fortunately, I was at work when my water broke so one elevator ride later and I was in the maternity ward. Thirteen hours after that he was in my arms."

"Your mom and sisters must have been really helpful during the delivery," Catherine said, trying to tone down the bitchiness. She was going to have to learn to be nicer to April. After all, she was the mother of her grandson.

"Actually, they hadn't planned to arrive until that weekend."

"You had him alone?" Jackson asked, concern in his eyes.

"It wasn't like I was in the woods giving birth to him by myself. I had a doctor and nurses there."

"That's not the same April and you know it."

Shrugging, April replied, "That's the way it was. No point in rehashing it now. I want to see more pictures of Jackson as a baby. Don't you, Jonah?"

Jonah nodded his head enthusiastically. Catherine, despite wanting to ask April more questions, continued to flip through Jackson's baby book. The next half hour was spent in peaceful happiness looking through the photos of both the father and the son. She enjoyed looking at the pictures of Jonah growing up. Not surprisingly, April had kept the book meticulously. Each page was chock full of photos and anecdotes about Jonah's myriad of milestones.

When Jonah yawned, April started to stand up. "I better get this one in the bath before he falls asleep."

Jackson reached over, grabbing her hand, and asked, "Do you think I could borrow this? I'd like to look at it more closely when I have the time."

Catherine noticed that a rose-colored bloom splashed across April's cheeks at the touch of Jackson's hand. April nodded that yes, he could borrow the book, before rising to her feet and heading to the bathroom with Jonah.

Catherine slowly shook her head as she realized what she should have noticed hours ago.

"What?" Jackson asked.

"That girl's still in love with you."


	9. Chapter 9

On Saturday night when her shift was finally over, April drove to her favorite pizza parlor and picked up a medium sausage and mushroom pizza just for herself. It was a splurge, she knew, but one she deserved. Her first shift back in Seattle had been pretty brutal with a constant flow of concussions, burns, a few severed limbs and even a gun shot wound. Now, all she wanted to do was shower, eat, and have a little snuggle time with Jonah before drifting off into the sleep of the dead. As she opened the door, April realized that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

"Hi, Catherine," she greeted the other woman nervously. It had been five days since Catherine had spelt out to the letter exactly how she felt about her and so needless to say she was still a little timid around her. She tried to be friendly, at least while Jackson was around, but any other time she was near Catherine she just tried to say as little as possible. She didn't want to enrage her even further. What Catherine had said was 100% true, but it didn't mean that she wasn't hurt by what she'd said. What was that trite expression again? The truth hurts? It did. A lot. April didn't know when she would stop feeling guilty about her choice. She'd really mucked things up for her son and for Jackson. She only knew that if she could go back in time and change things, she would.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here," she said.

Catherine got up from her seat on the couch and started collecting her things. "Jackson asked me to babysit for him and I'd never pass on some time with my grandbaby. We went to the park and got some McDonald's for dinner. He was pretty pooped so I changed him into his pajamas without a bath and put him to bed. I hope that's alright."

April nodded. She wasn't too pleased about the McDonald's, but she appreciated the other woman's help. "No, that's great. Thank you."

"I'm not sure if Jackson's coming back tonight. He's got a date with Stephanie. I wouldn't stay up if I were you."

"Uh, OK. Thanks again," April said as she saw her to the door.

After Catherine left, April took a slice of pizza out of the box and plopped onto the couch and turned on the TV. She didn't want to think, didn't want to feel. She only wanted to zone out and ignore the worry and jealousy that Jackson being on a date, with someone who was supposed to be his ex, brought her.

* * *

_Five Days Before_

"That girl's still in love with you."

Jackson, who'd been flipping through his son's baby book, immediately ceased all action. Shaking his head in disbelief, he asked, "What are you talking about?"

Lowering her voice to a whisper, Catherine continued, "April still loves you. It took me a minute to realize it, but I really think she does. The way she waits on you hand and foot, the longing glances, the way she blushed when you touched her hand."

Rolling his eyes, Jackson went back to perusing the book. "Mom, you're nuts. None of that means anything. And she doesn't wait on me hand and foot she just made me a plate for dinner because I was holding Jonah."

"It means that she still has feelings for you. I know I was the one who suggested she move in with you, but I have to say I take it back. I don't think it's a good idea for you two to live together after all. I think it will only make dormant feelings crop up again and we both know where that led you last time."

"It's official. You are delusional," Jackson replied, closing the book. "And besides, it's not even an issue because I've got a date with Stephanie this Saturday."

His mother shot him a sideways glance. "Are you serious?" she asked. "Are you two getting back together?"

Jackson scratched his head. He didn't know how to answer so he shrugged and said, "Maybe."

Catherine shook her head and tsked.

"What?" he asked, annoyed by her reaction. "What do you think I should do? Get back with Stephanie? Try to make things work with April?"

Patting his hand, Catherine replied, "Honey, I honestly don't know. I like Stephanie, I do, but there's just something…I can't quite place my finger on it…that's not right about you two. And as for April," she shook her head. "What she did wasn't right and it wasn't fair to you. If she would keep your son from you for two years, who knows what else she might do? I don't trust her and neither should you."

* * *

Jackson sat across from Stephanie watching her as she savored each bite of sushi. The evening had been pleasant so far. The conversation was light and focused a little bit too much around work and surgeries which had never bothered either of them.

Yet in the midst of this perfectly fine evening his mind kept wandering to April. Try as he might to put some distance in between himself and her, he wasn't successful. She always found a way to weasel herself in. She was the same goofy, lovable dork she'd always been. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stay mad at her. In the past two weeks since she'd returned to Seattle, they'd resumed their friendship almost as if nothing had happened.

It also didn't help that he'd been having highly inappropriate dreams about her. For the past three nights in a row, he'd woken up with his heart racing and his nether regions aching. And after he woke up, it seemed like everything April did was to tempt him - the way she licked yogurt off her spoon or put her hair in a pony tail or bent over to pick up Jonah or just stood and breathed in front of him. He wanted her badly and instead of enjoying himself with his present company, he was counting the seconds until he could call an end to the date without seeming rude.

Glancing at Stephanie, he wished things could work between them because their relationship had always been so easy and uncomplicated. Yet, he knew he'd never be truly happy with her not when his heart belonged to someone else.

* * *

April woke up groggy eyed at the sound of the front door opening. Jackson was home. Checking her phone, she looked at the time. Ten o'clock seemed an early end to a date night, but what did she know? She hadn't been on a date in years.

Getting up from the couch, she took her dirty plate and glass to the kitchen.

"Hey," said Jackson as he joined her in the kitchen. Opening the pizza box, he took a slice.

"How are you hungry?" April asked, looking at him incredulously. "Didn't you just eat? Your mom told me you and Stephanie went out to dinner."

""We went out for sushi, but I didn't really eat much because…"

"You hate sushi. I know," April replied. Glancing at him, she took in the full effect of him. Dressed simply in a black shirt and jeans, he was practically making her palms sweat. The man could make a paper bag look as good as an Armani suit. He was that handsome. And she hated him for that. It didn't make things easy on her libido. "So, are you and Stephanie back together?" she asked.

Sighing, Jackson shook his head. "No, I thought maybe, but it wouldn't be fair to her. After tonight, I know for certain that getting back together with her isn't what I want."

"Oh," said April, a feeling of hope rushing into her soul and making her heart thump in rapid beats. Could she be the reason he didn't want to get back with Stephanie? Maybe she had been overthinking the whole "wait a few months before sharing how she feels" thing. Maybe she should go ahead and tell him now. "What made you decide that?"

Finishing his last bite, Jackson brushed the crumbs from his hands. "I don't really want to go into that right now. Is little man asleep?"

"Yeah, he is."

Then, for whatever reason, April could no longer contain herself. Leaping forward, she wrapped her hands around Jackson's neck and kissed him. Shocked at first, he didn't initially respond which worried her. But after a few seconds of her lips pressed against his, he took action. He returned the kiss in full. Lifting her, he set her on the kitchen counter for easier access to her lips.

They kissed for a few more moments before April pulled back, feeling the need to confess her feelings for him. Gathering up all her courage, she shakily whispered, "I love you. I didn't know it until after we'd broken up, but I loved you then and I still love you now."

In reply, Jackson pressed his lips against hers once more. This time the kiss was more passionate and intense. April gasped as he lifted her off the counter and carried her to his bedroom. Pausing for a moment, she smiled against his lips, grateful that he felt the same way she did.

* * *

Jackson woke to find a very warm, very naked April pressed against his side. Cursing silently, he sat up and cupped his head between his hands. What had happened last night was a huge mistake, colossal. He knew better, but when she'd looked at him, when she'd touched his arm, when she'd kissed him, there was no hope in hell he was going to have the power to resist.

What made matters worse was her confession last night. April had admitted that she loved him 3 years ago and that she still did. His mom was apparently not so crazy after all.

Jackson wanted to scream. How could he have been so stupid? He should have put a stop to things after she'd kissed him. Having sex with her after saying what she'd said was only going to make her think he felt the same way too. He had never intended to lead her on, but that's exactly what he'd done. He'd made her think he wanted a real relationship with her when that was the furthest thing from the truth. He might as well admit it to himself. He loved her. He'd always had, but like his mom said he couldn't trust her. And without trust, a relationship between the two of them just wouldn't work.


	10. Chapter 10

April hummed as she poured some cereal into a bowl for Jonah and sprinkled blueberries on top. She felt, for the first time in a long time, as if her life was finally on track. She had the most amazing son, a great job and her future with the man she adored looked especially bright. Last night, she had half expected Jackson to back away and not return her kiss, but he hadn't. In fact, when she confessed that she loved him, his kisses took on a new intensity. Obviously what she'd said had an effect on him. He must be feeling the same way if it caused such a strong reaction in him.

Unable to stop herself, April let her mind wander to the future. She could see them dating for the next six months or so before Jackson would propose. They wouldn't do anything too fancy. Maybe have a destination wedding with just their families. Then, they'd wait a few months before trying for a second child which would hopefully be a little girl. After that, they might have another child or two, depending on how crazy their schedules were. They'd grow old together and life would be incredibly sweet. Before all these plans could come into fruition, they'd need to have a talk first to define the relationship and set some boundaries. She'd given in last night, but if they weren't headed for marriage, then she was determined to be closed for business.

Looking at her phone, she realized they had at least an hour before they had to leave for work. That was enough time to have a chat. Well, if Jackson would ever get out of the shower. It seemed like he'd been in there for an hour. Was he chiseling something out of his beard? An image of a TV character named Star-Burns, who had huge stars on both sides of his face, popped into her head. April pictured Jackson with the same stars on his face. They'd call him Dr. Star-Burns. April shook her head and giggled. Sometimes she cracked herself up.

After another five minutes, Jackson finally emerged from the bathroom sans any stars chiseled on his face. He walked into the kitchen and made himself a bowl of cereal.

Grabbing her own bowl of cereal, April motioned towards the living room. "Why don't we eat on the couch? That way we can talk."

Jackson nodded and followed her into the living room. As she sat on the couch, she heard a tiny wail, "Mama!"

Standing back up, she asked, "What's the matter, sweetie?"

Jonah was squirming in his seat. "Down. Down. No eat," he said.

Sighing, April walked over to her son's high chair and took him out of it. Setting him on the ground, she found some toys for him to occupy himself with. Then, she went back over to Jackson and sat next to him.

"I think that'll keep him occupied for a moment. Now, I wanted to talk about what happened last night…"

Jackson raised his hand, stopping her. "Actually, could I say something first?"

April nodded. "Sure."

"I think last night was…"

Jackson was interrupted by their two year old running up to them. "Poo poo," he said, wiggling up and down. "Poo poo."

April shot up quickly, picking Jonah up and dashing towards the bathroom. They'd been trying for months to get him potty trained. And when he said he needed to go, he needed to go.

Once on the toilet, Jonah seemed to freeze up. So they waited and waited. After fifteen minutes, Jackson stuck his head in. "What's up?" he asked.

"Not much. Just hanging out on the toilet," April replied sarcastically. And to her chagrin Jonah's face broke into a wide grin as he clapped his hands. He was having a ball pretending he was a big boy. "I think we're going to have to have a rain check on our conversation since I don't know when I'll ever get out of here."

Nodding, Jackson replied, "Sure. We'll make time later."

* * *

Jackson glanced at his watch. He had just enough time to eat a bite for lunch. Grabbing a sandwich and chips from the cafeteria, he made his way to the hospital's day care. Being a Sunday, it was pretty empty. He counted only five kids other than his son. He and Jonah built a tower while the other kids ate their snacks.

He tried to be totally in the moment with his son, because he knew how precious time with him was, but he just couldn't seem to focus.

"Your mom is going to hate me," he whispered as he placed another block on the tower. "I have to tell her something today and after I do I don't think she's ever going to speak to me again. I wish I could find a way to tell her what I need to tell her that doesn't end with her wanting to bash my head in. You got any ideas, little man?"

Jonah's answer to his father's question was to blow a raspberry. Jackson chuckled and ruffled his son's hair. "Thanks for the advice, son. Good talk. Good talk."

As much as he dreaded having this conversation, it was vital that they have it. No matter the outcome, he needed to get his feelings out in the open. There was no future for them romantically because she'd proven herself untrustworthy. Now, all he needed was to find the time and the place to express his feelings.

* * *

"You got a minute?" Jackson asked April.

April nodded. "Yeah, looks like I've got about twenty of them."

Jackson opened the door to an on-call room and ushered her in. "So we need to talk about last night," he began.

But as soon as the words left his mouth, April's lips became planted against his. He tried to pull away, he really did, but his body wouldn't let him. He returned the kiss with full force. One more time wouldn't hurt, he told himself. It might even soften the blow a little.

He let out a groan as her small hands slipped underneath his scrubs top. Pulling back, she whispered, "I know we need to talk but I just can't help myself. Do you know how long it's been for me?"

Jackson smirked. "About sixteen hours ago."

April playfully swatted him on the shoulder. "No, I mean before last night. The last time was when you and I were together. Remember when we took that weekend trip to Portland? It was before the whole pregnancy scare thing."

"Yeah, I remember," Jackson murmured. He was a little shocked by her revelation since she'd hinted that she'd seen other guys while they'd been apart. Yet, his male ego couldn't help but inflate with the knowledge that April had only been his.

Lowering his lips again, he didn't hear the knock on the door.

"Oh, wow," they heard Cristina say. "You guys are back at it. Too bad we've got an incoming trauma. All hands on deck."

* * *

Hours later, Jackson could kick himself. He was such an idiot. He'd led April on because of his own body's desires. She'd kept giving him knowing looks throughout the day. And now on top of that, Yang knew what they were up to. No, he needed to talk to her, lay everything out on the table and do so without having sex with her again.

This time when he led her to an on-call room, he knew to keep his distance. He paced the floor as he attempted to gather his thoughts. He needed to be truthful but he also didn't want to be unnecessarily hateful.

"April, I just want to say that last night was really great."

"I thought so too," April replied, smiling. "But we need to figure out what last night means for us."

Jackson nodded "True," he replied. "And…"

"Damn it!" he cursed as the door opened. "What the hell do you want?" he shouted at the intern.

"I…I had a question about the amount of medicine I'm supposed to give Mrs. Hornberger."

Frustrated, he yelled, "Get out! Go ask another doctor!" which caused the intern to high tail it out of there.

April walked up to him and put her hands on his shoulders. "What is wrong with you?" she asked. "It's not like you to yell at people."

"I know. I know. I'll apologize to him later." Sighing, he sat down on the bed. "April, last night was a mistake. I shouldn't have slept with you. It was a weak moment for me and I just succumbed. I'm sorry."

April laughed awkwardly. "You're joking, right? I told you that I loved you and then we had sex. I feel like one caused the other."

She was right. Hearing her confess her love had taken things to the next level. It was nice to know that the feelings he'd had for her had been and were returned.

"I guess what I'm trying to say," Jackson said. "Is that I wish last night hadn't happened because I feel like I've led you on in some way. And I don't want to do that to you."

Biting her lip, April nodded. "How do you think you've led me on?"

"I think you think we should get back together as a couple. And if that's true, it's not what I want."

"You're right," April said. "I did want to get back together. What's so wrong with that? I mean we have a child together. We've been friends for years. The sex is really, really good. Why can't we have a relationship?"

His eyes bored straight into hers as he replied, "Because you robbed me of two years with my son. I can't trust you April. Trust is the like the foundation for any successful relationship and we don't have it. So it doesn't matter that we've known each other for years or that the sex is insane. I don't trust you and I don't think I ever will again."

* * *

April sat down on the bed on the opposite side of the room. She felt as if Jackson had just slapped her across the face. His brutal honesty wounded her to her core, but it also sparked a little ire. She'd felt so guilty about keeping Jonah from him. She'd done what she'd could to make it up to him, but to be repaid this way. It was unforgivable!

"You're right," she replied. "I kept your son from you. I should have never done that, but I think you need to understand something about that time. I'd failed my boards. I'd recently lost coworkers to a freak accident. I'd broken up with you. I felt friendless, alone. I had a reputation as being "the dud." I don't know if you'll be able to comprehend how badly I needed a fresh start. I was suffocating here. I was losing confidence in myself, in my surgical ability. Connecticut was the breath of fresh air I was dying to take. I shudder to think what kind of person I'd have morphed into if I had stayed here, pregnant with your baby, watching you and Stephanie day in and day out. I'm sorry that what I did hurt you, but I don't regret going to Connecticut. And I think I'm done feeling guilty about it. I kept the knowledge of your son from you because I honestly thought you wouldn't want that kind of responsibility. You had moved on from me, very quickly I might add, and the last thing you would want is a baby around."

"Yeah, because proposing to you when I first thought you were pregnant is the action of a man who won't take responsibility."

"It was never about whether you would take responsibility Jackson. It was about whether you'd want to. Do you want to know why I was originally so relieved to know that I wasn't pregnant? I was happy because I was glad I didn't have to be a burden to you."

"You were not a burden, April. I loved you."

"Really? Because you never told me that, not once. You hinted at all these feelings you had," April spat as she made air quotes. "but you never explained them to me."

"OK. So we've determined I'm not perfect either, but it doesn't change things."

Standing up, April began to pace. "Oh, it changes things all right. You talk about me not being trustworthy. What about you? You slept with me after I laid my heart out bare. You took advantage of me and made me think you felt the same way. You're the untrustworthy one, buddy! On top of that, you were totally going to sleep with me this afternoon if we hadn't been interrupted by Cristina. How shady is that? No, we can't keep on going like this. I was stupid to think we could live a normal life together."

"April, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying Jonah and I are moving out."


	11. Chapter 11

April scratched her head as she looked down at the calendar on her phone. It was color coded pink for the days Jonah stayed with her and blue for the days that he stayed with Jackson. "So I know you were supposed to have Jonah on Saturday and Sunday, but I found out that the children's theater is putting on a play called The Rainbow Fish. That's one of Jonah's favorite books. I'd like to take him to see it. The only showing still available is this Saturday. Do you think we could trade days? Switch Friday for Saturday?"

April bit her lip nervously as she glanced up at Jackson. For the past six weeks, they'd had many a conversation about when and where Jonah would be spending the night. It wasn't exactly ideal and she missed her son terribly when he wasn't with her, but things were going OK. She'd moved out of Jackson's apartment and had begged Alex to let her live with him, Jo, and Cristina in Meredith's old house. He'd been surprisingly welcome. It had been Cristina that had balked at the idea of having a toddler live with them. With their hectic work schedules, her roommates hardly even knew that a child was living in their midst.

While hesitant at first, Jackson eventually agreed that her moving out was for the best. With no hope for a future for them as a couple, they'd come to a mutual decision that they needed separate living arrangements for their own sanity. Past history had taught them that they'd never be able to keep their hands off each other if they shared the same space.

Their son hadn't been particularly happy with the change. In the space of a few months, Jackson had gone from virtual stranger to being Jonah's entire world. April couldn't help but be surprised at how quickly Jackson had taken to his role as dad. Her feelings were singed by the fact that Jonah seemed to prefer time with his dad rather than with her.

One evening, a few weeks ago, her son had almost brought her to tears with his insistence that he stay at his dad's place. He'd cried, thrown a block at her, and thrashed about as she'd physically lifted and carried him out of Jackson's apartment. He'd never behaved that way again, but he was always sulky when she came to pick him up, loath to leave his father. April knew it was silly to feel so hurt. He was only a toddler. He wasn't intentionally trying to cause her pain, but she did miss the days when he used to cling to her like a little monkey.

Nodding in answer to her question, Jackson replied, "Sure, no problem. I'll take him tomorrow night and drop him off at your place on Saturday."

April smiled as she straightened the discharge papers she'd been filling out. "Great," she said. "I'll drop him off at your place around seven."

"Sounds like a plan."

As she watched Jackson walk off, Dr. Hudson Schwann sidled up next to her. April sighed as she braced herself for the lame pickup line he was bound to throw her way. Since he'd started working at Grey Sloan Memorial a month ago, he hadn't seem to get the hint that she wasn't interested in him.

"Hello, Dr. Kepner," Hudson said, stretching out each syllable. "You are looking mighty fine today. Are you a pulmonary embolism? 'Cause I can't breathe when I'm around you."

April rolled her eyes, ignoring his sad attempt at hitting on her. "Can I help you with something Dr. Schwann?"

"Yeah, you can go on a date with me."

"I meant could I help you with something medical related?"

Leaning against the counter, the blonde haired, blue-eyed doctor smiled as he ran his hand through his golden locks. "Come on. Why won't you give me a chance? I overheard you talking to your ex and it sounds like tomorrow you don't have any plans. Well, I've got an idea. Why don't we get some dinner? It's no pressure. Just a chance to get to know each other better. When's the last time you've had a handsome guy ask you out on a date?"

"A handsome guy? A couple of months ago. Being asked out on a date in general? Yesterday, was it? When you suggested we go to the drive in."

Hudson looked appropriately wounded, clutching his hand to his chest. "Ouch, you're killing me Smalls. You're killing me."

Taking pity on him, April sighed. "If I go out with you, will you stop harassing me? No more cheesy lines, no more asking me out, just pure, workplace professionalism?"

"Boy Scouts honor," Hudson said as he held up two fingers. "So how about you give me your address and I'll pick you up at 7;30?"

April shook her head. "Tell me the name of the restaurant and I'll meet you there."

* * *

Chewing on a bite of his sandwich, Jackson was trying to hide his annoyance at Karev and Wilson's antics. It was great that they were still going strong a year into their relationship, but did they really have to do all that lovey dovey crap in front of him? The last thing he was in the mood to see was two grown ass adults playing footsie and feeding each other lunch.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw April headed his way. She was a welcome distraction. Sure, they weren't on the best of terms - just barely being civil, but maybe they could rebuild their relationship back to something resembling friendship.

Pulling out the chair next to him, he motioned for her to take a seat which she reluctantly did. Smiling, she asked the table, "How's everyone doing?"

"Great," Karev replied. Dipping his french fry in ketchup, he asked, "Whatcha you making for dinner tonight?"

Jo, who had, like Cristina, initially balked at the idea of April living with them, added her two cents, "The chicken enchiladas you made last week were delicious. I vote for that."

Jackson did his best to suppress the jealousy that reared its unwanted, ugly head. He missed April's cooking. Heck, he missed April in general, but they'd both agreed that her moving out was for the best. It had been a pill to get Jonah used to the fact that his time would be split up between two places, but generally what was best for the adults was also what was best for the children. He knew that if April had stayed they would end up sleeping together again, then fighting, then not talking, and it would just repeat forever and ever in an endless cycle. Now, they were at least attempting to return to being what they were best at - platonic friends.

April swallowed her bite of food. Nodding, she replied, "I can make that tomorrow, but I have plans tonight."

Jackson turned to her and asked, "What plans? Going to see a movie?"

April shook her head no. "Actually, I'm going to go to dinner."

Karev laughed. "Did Schwann finally wear you down?"

April rolled her eyes and sighed. "It was the only way I could get him to stop asking."

Jo took a sip of her drink. "Sure," she said, unbelievingly. "But I don't think you'll be able to get rid of him that easily. He's been asking about you since day one. He's like obsessed with you or something."

"Well, he promised he would leave me be if I would go out with him this once. I'm expecting him to keep his word."

Karev laughed. "Yeah, I think the only way to get him to do that is to get a restraining order out against him."

"Yeah," Jo agreed, stealing one of Karev's french fries. "He gives off a very strong stalker vibe."

April blushed. "Come on, guys. He's not that bad. He's got some horrible pick up lines, but he seems sweet."

Jackson zoned out as April and Alex continued their friendly, yet sarcastic, banter. April was going on a date? With the new general surgeon? Jackson guessed he was good looking, but he didn't really think Hudson Schwann was April's type. April needed someone who could be serious, but who was also patient and kind. She sometimes got panicky and anxious and needed someone who could calm her down and help her refocus. Schwann didn't seem like the type of guy who could do that. He was all about cracking jokes and being the center of attention. He was too shallow for April.

"I guess I'll pick Jonah up early then if you've got a date," Jackson said, interrupting the bickering doctors.

April dismissed his suggestion with a wave of her hand. "It's OK. I can drop him off before I go to the restaurant."

"I don't want Jonah driving around in some strange guy's car. I'll just pick him after I get off work."

April sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. "He's not some strange guy and besides I've already arranged to meet him at the restaurant. He's not picking me up. Why are you being so weird Jackson?"

"Yeah," Karev chimed in. "Why you being so weird? You jealous?"

Jackson glared at the man across from him. He'd given him the beat down once years ago for messing with April. Did Karev need a refresher for messing with him now? If so, he'd be glad to give him one.

"No," he replied. "I am just concerned about what kind of people are around my child. You can never be too careful. And who knows if we can even trust this guy?"

"You should," April snorted. "Didn't you and the board hire him?"

Exasperated and no longer hungry, Jackson picked up his tray and stood up. "Whatever. Date who you want April. Just don't come crying to me when you find out he's an ax murderer."

* * *

As April slathered butter on her roll, she realized her date wasn't going too badly. She was actually having fun. And why shouldn't she? She was only 33, still young enough to have a social life. Being a doctor and a mom weren't the only nouns to define her. She was still a woman after all.

It had been fun to dress up in a pretty dress, roll her hair in curls, and put on extra make up. Her efforts hadn't gone unnoticed either. Hudson had told her how beautiful she looked as he offered her his arm to escort her into he restaurant.

They'd spent the last hour catching each other up on their personal backgrounds. She, telling him about Ohio and growing up on a farm, and he, telling her about growing up in Africa as a missionary's kid. He was an amazing storyteller and easily captivated her attention. Once he dropped all attempts at schmoozing her, he wasn't a half bad guy.

Just as she was thinking how silly she had been for putting this off for so long, their entrees arrived. Hudson had told her to get whatever she wanted from the menu, his treat, and she'd taken him up on his offer. She smiled as her plate of lobster and mashed potatoes was set before her. She hadn't had lobster in ages and man, oh man, did it look good. But as soon as she caught a whiff of its fresh sea smell, her stomach rolled.

Holding her composure as best as she could, she stood and said, "Excuse me for a moment."

Half walking, half jogging she made her way to the bathroom. Within seconds, the bread, salad, and the half a glass of wine she'd consumed over the past hour were in the toilet bowl.

Moaning, she pressed the palm of her hand to her forehead. What was wrong with her? It wasn't flu season and Jonah didn't have a stomach bug. A thought fluttered to her head as she dug her phone out of her purse. Scrolling through the calendar, she whispered, in complete panic mode, "No, no, no."

* * *

 


	12. Chapter 12

"Hello," April answered the phone hesitantly, unsure of who was on the other line.

"April!" she heard the voice on the other line exclaim, automatically recognizing it as Hudson's. "I was worried Robbins had given me a fake number. I wanted to check and see how you were doing."

Horribly, she thought to herself, but to Hudson she replied, "Oh, fine. So, what's up?"

"Nothing. I just wondered how you were doing. You didn't look too good the last time I saw you last night. I really wish you would have let me drive you home."

"Thanks, Hudson. I'm fine though, really. Just a stomach bug."

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Cause I could always bring you some chicken noodle soup, rub your belly, and watch a sappy chick flick with you."

Laughing, April shook her head. "As kind as your offer is I think I'll have to decline."

"You know we only got through half the date last night. You still owe me another 2 hours of your time."

April bit her lip. Should she be flirting right now? Considering? Shaking her head, she refused to feel guilty. She liked Hudson and she was, for all intents and purposes, single. Yes, her life was complicated but that didn't mean she couldn't test the waters a little. She felt a connection with Hudson and she'd like to see if something could develop. Might as well. Jackson was hell bent against them being together so she'd look in a new direction for happiness. It wouldn't hurt to go on a few more dates with Hudson. And if something actually did blossom between the two of them, then she'd let him know about her situation, if there even was a situation.

"Well, how about I make it up to you next weekend? My treat," she offered.

"Deal. I never pass on a free dinner from a woman. A guy's gotta eat you know."

* * *

Just pee on the freaking stick, she told herself an hour later. After ending her phone call with Hudson, she'd made a quick trip to the drug store to pick up a pregnancy test. Since last night, she'd kept telling herself that she couldn't be pregnant. It was just a fluke, a hormonal thing or maybe stress. But she also knew deep down that she was a clock when it came to her monthly flow. It had been 2 months since her last period. She'd been so caught up with work, Jonah, and dealing with the fall out from Jackson she hadn't even noticed.

Well, she sure as heck noticed now. It was the only thing she could think about. She was nervous and scared, but also, against all logic, a little excited. She didn't want to have another baby out of wedlock and didn't relish the thought of raising another child as a single parent. And she really didn't relish the thought of breaking the news to Jackson. But there was part of her deep down that knew she'd be joyful at the prospect of having another one of Jackson's babies. Plus, she'd always wanted Jonah to have a sibling. Now, it looked likely that her wish would come true. It just wasn't exactly how she'd planned on it coming to fruition.

Finally, finding her courage, April headed to the bathroom.

* * *

April stared blankly ahead as she drove to Jackson's apartment to pick Jonah up for their mommy-son date. She was still in shock. It was one thing to suspect it, but it was another to get irrefutable proof. She was actually pregnant. Again. With Jackson's child. Again.

Only this time, she knew she couldn't repeat the sins of the past. She'd tell him. What she would do after that? Who knew? She knew that they wouldn't be getting back together. He'd been pretty clear that he didn't want to weeks ago. But no doubt, he would still want to be involved in the pregnancy and the child's life. She would just have to keep her guard up, not let him know how much she still loved him. The only way she was going to be able to survive this was to stay strong and not let her emotions rule her.

As she parked, she braced herself for the conversation she was about to have. No point in waiting. She was going to rip the band-aid off as quickly as she could.

When Jackson opened the door three minutes later, he looked at her, a bit perplexed. Glancing at his watch, he asked, "Did I hear you wrong yesterday? I thought you said you were getting him around five. It's only three."

April nodded. "You heard right. I'm not here to pick up Jonah. Actually, I…uh, need to talk to you for a few minutes."

Opening the door, Jackson took a step backward and let her walk in. He motioned for her to sit on the couch, but she shook her head. She preferred to stand to tell him this news.

Looking around, she asked, "Where's Jonah?"

"Taking a nap." Sitting down on the couch, Jackson rested his arms on his knees. "So what did you need to talk to me about?"

In the car, April had felt numb and dazed. Now, she felt the sheer force of what was happening to her, all that it implied. Her heart beat quickened, her breath became more shallow, and the anxiety and panic that had been all too common during her resident years returned in full force. She was scared and she wanted to cry, but most of all she wanted her friend back. She needed Jackson's comfort and reassurance. She missed the days when he could just sense her discomfort and reach out to her, hold her hand or wrap his arm around her or just be a shoulder to cry on.

Brushing away the tear that had slipped down her cheek, she exhaled loudly. You can do this, April, just tell him.

Hands up in the air, she said, "You're not going to believe this, but I am….pregnant…again."

Glancing in Jackson's direction, she saw his look of slack-jawed shock. "Wh…what?" he stuttered.

"I am pregnant with a baby, your baby."

Standing up, Jackson began to pace on the other side of the room. "What?" he asked again. "Is this some kind of sick joke? I mean we're not unlucky enough for this happen twice, are we?"

April shook her head. Biting her lip, she replied, "No. I'm not joking. I'm really pregnant."

Jackson sat back down, only to stand up again and continue to pace. "How long have you known?"

"About an hour. I just took the test this morning and I've only suspected since last night. I didn't even realize…" April stopped, shaking her head. "I'm just as floored as you, Jackson. I've gotten pregnant twice and both times we used condoms. I don't know why this keeps happening to us."

"I might," Jackson said, scratching his head and looking down at the ground. "That night…I might have played a little Russian Roulette."

"What does that mean?" April asked, staring at him quizzingly.

"I did use a condom, but I might have waited a few moments too long before I put it on."

Closing her eyes, April struggled to remember that night six weeks ago. They'd made love three times that night, but the first time had been so passion fueled and frenzied her head hadn't been on quite so straight. She remembered how quickly their clothes had flown off. She remembered how he'd teased her entrance in delicious torture before groaning and leaving her to make his way towards the night stand to get protection. Sighing, she knew that even without him fully inside her those seconds were enough to get her pregnant.

"Well, there's no use crying over spilled milk. It happened. It's a done deal."

"Gah, I can't believe this happened a second time. I feel so stupid!"

April nodded silently. There wasn't much she could add to that. She'd accepted the pregnancy. She was now ready to get into planning mode. To figure out where to go from here.

"So," she started. "What's next? I'm telling you this because you have the right to know, but you can be as involved or not involved as you'd like."

"Involved," Jackson replied. Sighing, he continued, "When do you want to get married?"

Married? What in the world was he talking about? Flashbacks of this same scenario 3 years prior flooded her brain. No, her heart couldn't take it. If he didn't love her, more importantly, if he didn't want her, then she didn't want to be his wife.

"Do you love me?" she asked.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "You know I do."

"Do you want to marry me?"

"It doesn't matter what I want April. It matters what's best for our kids. It's difficult enough to bounce Jonah back and forth between us. Two kids, one being an infant, will be insane. We just need to live together and be a family."

April sat down and covered her face with her hands. The pregnancy hormones and the stress of the situation getting to her, she broke down, letting the tears fall. A few moments later she felt Jackson's weight on the couch and a few seconds after that she felt his arms wrapped around her. She knew she should push him away. Tell him she didn't want his pity. That she thought his idea of marriage was stupid. But, man, oh, man, did it feel nice to be in his arms again. She turned in his arms and wrapped her own around him. Lying her head on his shoulder, she let it all go. All the tears she'd kept inside for months. She needed this man to help her through this. To help her deal with her emotions. He was and always would be her rock and she clung to him hoping he would keep her safe.

Pulling back, he smoothed back her hair and wiped the remaining tears off her face with the pads of his thumbs. He smiled and whispered reassuringly, "It's going to be OK. We can do this."


	13. Chapter 13

Jackson smelled the sweet scent of lavender wafting from April's hair. He had to hold himself in check to keep from twirling a red strand around his finger. He loved her hair especially when it was fanned out over his pillow, but now wasn't the time for such thoughts.

No, what they needed to do was come up with a plan of action. There was a baby on the way. The best possible solution was for them to get married. And if he were honest with himself, truly honest, he did want to marry her. The past six weeks had been hell. He'd been alone and miserable, missing April and his son. He missed the way April greeted him cheerfully each morning. He missed reading a bed time story to his son each night. He missed touching and holding April. He missed bouncing ideas off her. He missed being a family. This new baby was his second chance to get what he truly wanted which was April and his son back.

As he rubbed April's back as she continued to cry, he thought about how stupid he'd been the day after they'd had sex. She'd been so happy and hopeful about a return to a real relationship and he had shut it down. He'd told her that he didn't trust her, that he didn't want her. He'd been so angry and pissed at the time. He'd viewed her keeping their son from him as a betrayal. Instead of calmly discussing the matter with her like a rational person, he'd lashed out. And what good had that done him? She'd moved out and took their son with him - leaving him lonely and depressed. No, his anger had accomplished nothing. He'd blown off some steam and had been left empty-handed.

He'd overreacted, plain and simple. Sure, she'd been wrong for what she'd done, but that didn't mean they couldn't carve out a future for themselves. It had felt good to blow off steam, at the time. He'd thought he could live with the repercussions but he couldn't. He loved April Kepner. He didn't like everything about her, but he sure as hell loved her. She was the one. No one else had ever come close. Not his high school or college girlfriends, not Lexie, not Stephanie, just April. He couldn't lose her and now that she was pregnant again, he was sure that he wouldn't. He'd appealed to her sense of responsibility when he'd suggested they marry and he was certain that she'd say yes. Just like she'd agreed to marry him three years ago.

Pulling back from her, he gave in to the urge to brush back her hair. Looking at her reassuringly, he said, "It's going to be OK. We can do this."

Jackson watched as April furiously blinked in order to stop her tears. He struggled to breathe, overwhelmed by the need to protect her. He couldn't pinpoint the moment it had become second nature to watch out for her, but he knew that making sure no one hurt her was just as important as taking his next breath. April was more than capable of taking care of herself, of this he was well aware, but it still didn't make the feeling go away. He wanted those tears out of her eyes, permanently.

April separated herself from him. Biting her lip nervously, she said, "I won't marry you Jackson."

And with those five little words, tears of his own pricked his eyes. "What…what do you mean?" he asked huskily.

"We can't just get married because of the baby. You don't even trust me, remember? How can we build a solid foundation if we don't even have something as basic as trust?"

Jackson closed his eyes. His own words were coming back to haunt him. "April, I was upset that day. I said a lot of stuff just to get it off my chest. I should have found a better way to communicate my feelings to you."

"That still doesn't change the fact that you think I'm untrustworthy."

Jackson rested his hand on April's knee. "I don't think that, April. The fact that you told me about this pregnancy right away shows me that I can trust you."

April stood up, causing his hand to flop back onto the couch. "I'm glad I passed the test. Is that what marriage to you is going to be? Me trying to jump through hoops? Trying to pass a series of never-ending tests?"

"It's not going to be like that at all April. It might not hurt to go to some couples counseling but I really think we could make this work."

April nodded and laughed humorlessly. "You know what's funny? If you had asked me six weeks ago if I would go to couples therapy, I would have said yes in a heartbeat. I hurt you and we needed to find a way to move past that hurt. I was willing to work on us, but you didn't want to. Nothing has changed since then, has it? Oh, wait," April said, tapping her finger to her chin. "I almost forgot. I'm pregnant again! That's the reason for this "change of heart." You still don't want me, but you feel a responsibility, an obligation to make things right. I don't want that Jackson. I want someone who is crazy about me. That can't live without me. That loves me. That wants me. I don't need a man and I never will, but I want a man that loves and wants me just as much as I love and want him. You can't offer me that so I won't marry you."

It was on the tip of Jackson's tongue to say just how much he loved and wanted her when she continued speaking. "And besides," April said. "I'm dating Hudson now. There's a spark between us and who knows? Maybe one day that'll turn into something more."

Jackson closed his eyes, envisioning the tall, blond man. The nurses said that the other man's blue eyes rivaled his own. Hudson looked like he belonged more on a sunny beach in California than he did in a hospital in rainy Seattle. Clenching his fists, Jackson fought the urge to find the other man and beat the living crap out of him for stealing his girl. Instead, he nodded his head and tried to find words to say. Unfortunately, he wasn't coming up with any.

"I think I hear Jonah waking up. I'm going to take him early if that's OK. I'm going to schedule an appointment with an OB/GYN in the next week or two. I'll let you know when it is so you can come along if you want."

* * *

Newly changed into a hospital gown, April laid down on the exam table. She was a mixture of nervousness and excitement. Nervous because Jackson would be rejoining her in a few minutes. Ever since she'd told him about the pregnancy two weeks ago, things had been strained between them even more so than usual. Excited because she was going to see her baby for the first time. She loved being a mom and was overjoyed she would get to go through this experience a second time.

She heard a knock on the door and moments later both Jackson and her OB/GYN, Dr. Judith Carter, walked in the room. Jackson took a place by her head and Dr. Carter sat on a stool.

"So it looks like your little one is due around the middle of February. Maybe a Valentine's baby? Who knows? Now, before I start your ultrasound, do you two have any questions?"

April shook her head. "This is number two for me so I already know the drill."

Jackson looked a little befuddled. "I have so many questions I don't know where to start," he confessed. "I know the basics and the biology of it, but other than that I don't know diddly squat."

Dr. Carter, a kind-looking woman in her mid-forties, nodded indulgently. April noticed that she, like every other female with a beating heart, was not immune to Jackson's good looks. Jealousy reared its ugly head, but she shot it down. She was dating a nice, handsome guy. Both dates with Hudson had gone swimmingly. They were really hitting it off.

Dr. Carter leaned over to grab a pad and pen. "I'm going to write down the titles of a few books you can read. They should provide you with answers to most of your questions."

Taking the paper, Jackson shot her a winning smile, making April roll her eyes. She was immune to his charms, but the older woman clearly wasn't. "I will go out and buy these today," he promised.

 _I hope she'll finish drooling over him soon_ , April thought to herself. _I'd like to see this sonogram before the baby's actually born._

April's loud sigh shook the doctor from her fantasies. "Alright," she said. "Let's take a look at your little blueberry."

Noticing Jackson's nervousness as indicated by the huge swallow that made his Adam's apple bob, April took his hand within her own. She remembered her own nervousness during her first ultrasound with Jonah. Seeing the fetus filled you with awe. It let you know that you had created a life that would grow and change into a minuscule little human.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out, April smiled reassuringly at Jackson. "We can do this," she whispered, squeezing his hand. "We're going to be even better parents the second time around."

Jackson swallowed again and nodded his head, not looking fully convinced.

Dr. Carter squirted jelly on her stomach and placed the transducer on top of it. Moving it around, she said, "Here it is. Your little blueberry."

Jackson and April turned their heads to look at the monitor.

"Um, wait a second," Dr. Carter said as she enhanced the picture. "I think I got my count wrong. Looks like you've got two blueberries rolling around in there."

"Wait, what?" Jackson asked, blinking in confusion. April mirrored the same perplexed expression.

"I see signs of two fetuses. It looks like you'll be having twins."

"Are you joking, Dr. Carter?" April asked suspiciously.

Dr. Carter shook her head. "Nope, I'm dead serious." Pointing to the screen, she counted the fetuses. "One, two."

A bubble of laughter escaped April's lips. "That's crazy!" she said, grinning from ear to ear. Turning to Jackson, she hugged him impulsively. "We're having twins, Jackson, twins!"

Jackson wrapped his arms around her absentmindedly. "Uh-huh," he replied, his voice a little high pitched. "Twins."


	14. Chapter 14

April and Hudson were alone in the house because Alex and Jo were out on a date of their own while Cristina was still at the hospital in the middle of surgery. This was their third date in two weeks. They'd gone out to dinner the other two and for the third date, April wanted something a little more relaxed and casual so she'd invited Hudson over for pizza and a movie. As she ordered the pizza over the phone, April shook the memory of another time she was supposed to watch a movie at home with a date. Her colleagues had teased her about Dr. Stark, insinuating that he didn't want to watch a movie as much as he wanted to have sex. She hoped that "watching a movie" was not code for sex. She didn't want to give Hudson the wrong impression. They hadn't even kissed yet. It was far too soon for sex. Besides, it wouldn't be right to sleep with him when she was pregnant with another man's babies.

After she hung up the phone, she went back into the living room. Hudson was sorting through her pile of DVDs.

"Find anything you want to see?" she asked.

"You sure have a lot of chick flicks. Return to Me, Pretty Woman, Steel Magnolias, Pride and Prejudice, two Bridget Jones movies, Love Actually…I'm sensing you've a got thing for Colin Firth."

April smiled and nodded her head. "Mmmhmm, a little bit."

"Tall, dark, and handsome, huh?" he said, shaking his blond locks. "Guess I don't measure up."

Swatting him on the arm, April replied. "Whatever. I like the sun-kissed surfer vibe you give off."

Grabbing her by the waist, Hudson drew her near. April's heart began to race as his intent became clear. He was going to kiss her.

"I'm pregnant!" she blurted suddenly.

Hudson's face quickly changed from wide-eyed surprise to a wide grin as his hold on her slackened. "Ha ha. Good try, April. I still want a kiss," he said before leaning in again.

April backed away from him and sat down on the couch. Putting her head in her hands, she struggled to wrap her head around how stupid she'd just been. She'd basically yelled that she was pregnant and now he wasn't even taking her seriously. How in the world was she going to straighten out this mess?

Laughing nervously, she looked back up at him. "I'm not kidding, Hudson. I'm really pregnant and I'm so sorry that I just blurted it out like that. It's been on my mind to tell you, but I didn't know how to go about doing it. How do you tell a guy you like, who you just started dating, that you're pregnant?"

Hudson's face held a seriousness she'd never seen before. The laughing, amiable man was gone and in his place was someone who wasn't amused. "The way you just did…probably wasn't the best way," he replied as he scratched his chin. "So who's the lucky guy?" he asked.

"Jackson"

Shaking his head and laughing, Hudson said, "I should have guessed. It's pretty obvious that you're still in love with him. Have you told him? Are you guys getting back together?"

April was quick to protest. "Jackson knows about the pregnancy, but we're not together nor will we get back together. I like you, Hudson. I want to continue seeing you. I need to take things slow because that's just the way I am, but I really do want to see if this could turn into something."

"So you're not keeping the baby?" he asked.

Floored by his question, April quickly shook her head. "I'm not having an abortion. I'm keeping the babies."

"Babies?" Hudson asked, his eyebrows quirked.

"Um, yeah, I'm having twins. We just found out last week."

Hudson replied drolly, "Of course, you're having twins. Listen, April…I….I really like you. I do. I saw something in you that made me think maybe this girl and I can have a future together. I was never too ecstatic about the fact that you already had a kid, but I liked you so much I pushed that aside. But you being pregnant with twins with your ex? I don't know April. I just don't know. I need to think about this. And I…I don't think we should see each other again until I know for sure if I'm ready to sign on for this."

Blinking back tears, April nodded in agreement. Hudson walked over to her and hugged her. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

And with that, he left April to consume a large sausage and mushroom pizza all by herself.

* * *

The next day April went to pick up Jonah at Jackson's apartment. Her son was the one to open the door. Feeling a rush of love for the little guy, April picked him up and squeezed him tight. "Mama loves you so much, Jonah. Do you know that?"

Jonah nodded his head. "Love you Mama," he said as he rested his head against her shoulder. When April bent to let him down, he clasped on tighter. April swayed back in forth with him in her arms, softly singing to him.

When Jackson walked in the room, he immediately looked concerned. Walking over to her, he wrested Jonah from her arms. "You shouldn't be holding him," he scolded. "He's too heavy for you. You need to be more careful."

Unhappy with being taken away from his mom, Jonah started to whimper. To remedy the situation, April took a seat on the couch and Jonah promptly sat in her lap. "He's kind of clingy today," she noted.

"Yeah, well, he wasn't feeling too well last night and was missing you, I think."

"What? You should have called me Jackson. I would have come over."

Jackson shrugged. "You were on a date with your boyfriend, that Matthew McConaughey wannabe. I didn't want to interrupt."

April shook her head and bit her lip, feeling the tide of tears coming her way. "You didn't have to worry about interrupting. He left as soon as I told him I was pregnant."

Joining her on the couch, Jackson put his arm around her shoulder. "The guy's clearly stupid. You're a great catch."

April wiped away a tear. "I can't blame him though who would want to be saddled with a chick who's pregnant with her ex's babies?"

Jackson continued to rub her shoulder. "I still think he's a moron. Why don't we do something to cheer Mama up, Jonah? Let's go out to dinner."

April nodded in agreement, hunger gnawing at her stomach. "I was sick this morning so I'm starving now. How about we get some Mexican food?"

"Anything you want, babe," Jackson said, brushing his lips against her forehead.

* * *

With a mouth full of warm tortilla chip and cold, spicy salsa, April felt like she'd floated to heaven. Dinner at Matador was just what the doctor ordered for her ravenous hunger and her wounded spirit.

"You're going to town on those chips and salsa," Jackson observed.

April shrugged as she stuffed another bite in her mouth. "I'm eating for three now. Plus, I've been craving Mexican food for days. It's nice to have the craving satisfied."

Putting some chips on Jonah's plate, Jackson asked, "What was your craving with Jonah?"

Smiling, April said, "Vietnamese spring rolls. I was like a crack fiend. I ate them like four or five times a week."

"Had any cravings for those yet?" he asked.

April shook her head. "Not yet. So far just any and all Mexican food."

Finishing up her fajitas, April covetingly eyed her son's plate. He had an uneaten quesadilla just sitting there. Taking a piece, she dipped it into her salsa cup and closed her eyes in bliss. Still hungry, she reached for his plate again. This time, her son fought back, pushing her hand away. "Mine, Mama."

Feeling a bit ashamed, April put her hand back in her lap.

Jackson picked up his plate, offering her his last taco. "You can have it. I don't mind. Poor guy's not familiar with having a pregnant mommy who's hungry all the time," he said as he ruffled his son's hair.

April waved her hand at his offer of food. "That was probably a sign I should stop." Pausing, she said, "You know what? We haven't told Jonah about the pregnancy yet."

Jackson shook his head in disbelief. "You're right. We've talked about it a lot obviously, but I don't think he understands what's going on."

"Pregnancy is not quite part of his vocabulary yet."

Jackson grinned. "True. So how are we going to tell him? Should we just break it to him now?" he said, tilting his head in the direction of their son.

Resting her chin on her hand, April thought for a moment. "I don't think he'll really understand though. I've got another appointment in three weeks. We should take him with us. He can see the ultrasound. Hear the heartbeats."

Jackson nodded in agreement. "It'll be easier for him to understand when he can see and hear the babies. Good idea April," he said, raising his hand for a high five.

April high-fived him. "Now, we just have to find a way to tell our parents."

As Jackson opened his mouth to reply, they were interrupted by the sound of her phone. Suspecting that it was the hospital, she quickly dug it out of her purse.

Glancing at the caller ID, she stood and said, "I've got to take this call."


	15. Chapter 15

Stepping outside the restaurant, April pressed the Accept button. "Hello?" she answered.

"April!" Hudson practically shouted in relief. "I was worried you wouldn't answer my call. That you'd be too angry with me."

"I answered it, but that doesn't mean I'm not upset with you," she replied. "What do you need?"

"Always so direct and to the point," Hudson sighed. "I don't need anything. I just was calling to say that I'm sorry for being such a dumbass. It took a lot of courage to tell me what you did and I know it wasn't easy. I should have been more understanding."

Mentally cursing herself for starting to tear up, April replied, "You're right. It wasn't easy. How do you tell someone you really like that kind of news? I don't blame you for needing time to think, but it was really hurtful the way you handled it. You just left in the middle of our date."

"I know. I know. I was a stupid jerk, but if you'd give me a second chance I promise I won't screw up this time."

"Why should I give you another chance?" April asked skeptically.

"Fair enough. I deserve that. Why do I deserve a second chance? I'll tell you why. Because I really, really like you. How do I like thee? Let me count the ways. One, you're absolutely gorgeous. Two, you're one of the best trauma surgeons I've ever worked with. Three, you make smile. I like your optimism and your sense of humor. Four, did I tell you you were beautiful?"

April rolled her eyes. This guy was so cheesy, but it was kind of working for him. She was actually considering giving him a second chance. "If I give you a second chance," April said. "How will I know you won't flake out again?"

"Because I've done a lot of thinking these past 24 hours. When I first met you, I got the feeling that you could be someone I spend the rest of my life with. That feeling still hasn't changed, just the number of children you have."

"You know that Jackson is always going to be a part of my life. There's no escaping that."

"I know, but a guy can still dream that he'll fall off the face of the earth, can't he? Come on, April, give me another chance….Please."

Closing her eyes, April suppressed all her worries and doubts. Taking a flying leap of faith, she said, "OK."

* * *

April gently laid herself down on the exam room table. At 12 weeks, her belly was considerably bigger than it had been when she was pregnant with just one baby. It wasn't just her size that was different about this pregnancy. Last time, she had been all alone in a new city with no one to rely on. Now, she had the father of her baby and a boyfriend helping to take care of her. She was starting to feel a little spoiled. It was a pleasant, but unusual experience.

After a few minutes of dwelling in blissful silence, Jackson knocked on the door and entered with Jonah and the doctor. They were going to attempt to explain to him that he would soon be a big brother. Jonah, however, wasn't completely oblivious. He'd noticed that her body was changing. Whenever he sat on her lap, he'd pat her tummy and say, "Mama fat." Hopefully, after today, he would realize there were actual babies in there.

"Jonah buddy," Jackson said. "Dr. Carter is going to show you something. I want you to look at that screen over there."

As Jonah's eyes fixed on the monitor, Dr. Carter began to move the transducer over April's jelly-covered belly. Moments later, the image of two fetuses was projected onto the screen. April smiled at the sight of her two unborn children and then turned to look at the one that was already here. He looked completely unimpressed by the image on the screen and was currently trying to wiggle free of his father's grasp.

Jackson held onto him tighter and pointed at the screen again. "Look Jonah. Do you see that? Those are your new brothers or sisters. Your mama has babies in her stomach."

Jonah looked up at his dad. "Baby?" he asked.

Jackson held up two fingers. "Two babies. You're going to be a big brother."

April pointed to her stomach. "The babies are in here."

"Otay," Jonah said. "Fish?"

April laughed as she pointed to her purse. "Jackson, I don't think it's going to sink in until they're actually here. He wants some goldfish. I've got a bag of them in my purse."

Jackson shook his head. "I really thought he'd get it. He's almost three."

April shrugged. "We tried, but he's still little."

As they continued to talk, Dr. Carter switched from using the ultrasound transducer to a fetal Doppler. "We didn't get to hear the heartbeat the last time you guys were here. Do you want to hear it now?"

Jackson and April nodded eagerly. At the sound of the rapid heartbeat, April bit her lip as tears pricked her eyes. It was such a beautiful sound. It let her know that not only were their babies in there but they were growing strong and healthy.

Next to her, Jackson listened in awe. "When you're a doctor you hear heartbeats all the time but when it's your children - it's completely different."

Jackson took her hand and kissed the back of it. April did her best to ignore the flurries that his brief touch caused and to push away the thought that Hudson's touch never made her feel that way. Instead she focused on her son's curious expression as he walked up to her.

"Mama?" he asked.

"You hear that sound Jonah? That's your brother or your sister's heart beating." Touching his chest, she patted it gently. "Just like your heart beats. Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum."

"Heart," Jonah parroted. "Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum." Leaning over he put his ear to her stomach in an attempt to hear. April rubbed his little back not quite believing how blessed she was.

* * *

"Where is it? Where is that stupid giraffe?" April huffed as she scoured Jonah's room. She and Hudson were going to take Jonah to see a movie in an hour and she really didn't have time to be looking for a stuffed animal, but she knew if she didn't find it the chances of her son falling asleep tonight were zero to none.

"Jackson, I can't find his giraffe. Do you know where it might be?" she asked.

Jackson, busy making Jonah a sandwich, pointed to his bedroom. "It might be in my room. He and Geoffrey woke me up at six this morning to force me to watch Dinosaur Train."

April scoffed at his attempt to make her feel sorry for him. She'd been forced to watch countless hours of mind-numbing cartoons. It was just another "joy" of being a parent.

Walking into Jackson's room, April quickly found Geoffrey on Jackson's nightstand, but as she turned away a book caught her eye. It was one of the pregnancy books that Dr. Carter had mentioned to Jackson. It looked like some pages had been ear-marked. Flipping through the pages, she noticed his notes in the sections about the third month of pregnancy, being pregnant on the job, and much to her surprise - sex and the pregnant woman. During her first pregnancy, she had skipped this section entirely, feeling that there was no point in reading about something that wouldn't happen. Needless to say, she was a little curious as to why Jackson had it marked and had highlighted some of the suggested sexual positions for the second and third trimesters.

Just as she was about to read up on what positions were recommended, Jackson strolled into the room. Dropping the book like a hot potato, April blushed guiltily.

"I was going to ask if you needed help finding Geoffrey, but it looks like you have. It also looks like you've been snooping around too," he commented as he picked the book off the floor. Shrugging, he continued, "Well, I've got nothing to be ashamed of."

"You should be ashamed though," April replied. "I…I saw what you're reading about in there. I saw the part about sex," she said, saying the last word in a whisper.

Smirking, he replied, "I just want to be prepared when the time comes."

He has some nerve, April thought. "Like I'm going to sleep with you. I'm with Hudson, remember?"

"Are you sleeping with him?" He surprised her by asking.

"Th…that is none of your business."

"I'll take that as a big fat NO."

Why could he always see straight through her? It wasn't fair. She could never hide her feelings or emotions from him. "You are so arrogant and cocky," she moaned as she reached out to swat him.

Catching her hand, he took the opportunity to bring her into his embrace.

"Why are you fighting this?" he asked, nuzzling his nose against her cheek. "We both want this."

Pushing him away, she said, "Don't be that guy, Jackson."

He replied, "I am gonna be that guy. I thought I could handle you being with this Hudson fellow, but I can't. You're mine. I want you with me. And it's not about our kids. It's about you. I'm not going to give up until we're back together."

April struggled to catch her breath. She was completely bowled over by Jackson's confession. Taking a seat on his bed, April rested a hand against her stomach and took deep breaths to calm herself down and to sort through her thoughts.

The most pressing thought being whether or not she wanted to be with this man. Her gut screamed yes. She loved this man. She was attracted to this man. She wanted to be with him forever.

But something held her back from just jumping into his arms. She had to be reasonable and logical. If she got hurt now, it wouldn't be just her who would suffer but three innocent children. She was a mom now. Her first job was to protect her kids. It didn't matter what her heart wanted. It mattered what was best for them and a rocky relationship with their father wasn't going to be it. If she was going to be in a relationship, it needed to be a stable one.

Making up her mind, April stood up and said, "Too little, too late, Jackson."


	16. Chapter 16

"Hey, Mom," Jackson said hesitantly. It was finally time to tell the big news. At 13 weeks, April had successfully made it to her 2nd trimester and with the possibility of miscarriage minimized, they had both decided to share the news with their families. Now that the time had come to tell his mom, he was a little wary and apprehensive. He knew she wasn't the biggest fan of April and hoped she would take the news without blowing up.

"Hey, baby!" his mother replied enthusiastically. "How's that precious grandson of mine?"

"He's doing fine, Mom. Growing like a little weed."

"Is he really? I need to come down more often and you need to send me more pictures."

"April's the one who's really good about doing that. She takes pictures all the time and puts them in a scrapbook. Me. Not so much. But I did snap a few when we visited the zoo. I'll send them to you."

"I'd like that. Is Jonah around? I'd like to say hi."

"He's napping right now. Look, I called because I needed to tell you something."

"OK. What's on your mind?"

"Umm," Jackson mumbled, swallowing nervously. "Umm….the thing is…ah, damn, there's no good way to say it. April's pregnant again."

For a solid minute after his announcement, there was dead silence. "Mom?" Jackson said, wondering if his mother had been so upset that she'd hung up on him.

Catherine sighed audibly. "You get into trouble a lot with that one, don't you?" After another long pause, she asked, "How far along is she?"

"13 weeks. And there's something else I should mention."

"What now?" Jackson could sense his mother rolling her eyes through the phone. "She wants to go back to Ohio? She's gonna enlist? Join the circus?"

This time it was his turn to roll his eyes. "Mom, give her a break. OK? She made a mistake with Jonah. She admitted to it. It's in the past and nothing can change that. It's time both you and I moved on. I had something really cool to tell you, but now I don't know if I should."

"Jackson Harper Avery. Say what you were going to say or don't. Either way make up your mind."

Jackson thought about not telling her but feared the wrath that would come later when she did find out. "April's pregnant with twins," he finally blurted.

"Wait…what?" A joyful laugh escaped his mother's lips. "Twins! Is this a joke?"

Grinning, Jackson replied. "Nope. There's two of them. I've seen them with my own eyes. I'll e-mail you the sonogram."

"Oh, baby, this is just wonderful! I can't even be that mad at April anymore. I'm having twin grand babies!"

"It's really great. April and I are both excited."

"So what does this mean for you two…relationship wise?"

Yeah, his mom always knew how to get to the heart of the matter. It didn't take her long to sniff out whatever was making him uncomfortable and then proceed to make it worse.

"We are not currently together, but I've got plans to change that," Jackson confessed.

"What do you mean by that? Why wouldn't April want to be with you? She can't possibly ignore what a catch you are. You're smart, handsome, and come from a good family. You're everything a girl could want. As far as I'm concerned you're so far out of her league that she's lucky she caught you."

"Mom, that's not true. OK. I am smart and pretty damn good looking, but I'm not out of April's league. She's everything that I want. She's the one for me, but…"

"But, what?"

"She's kind of seeing someone else."

"Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that the mother of your child is seeing someone else and you just accept the fact that the twins are yours?"

Jackson sighed loudly, annoyed by his mother. She never seemed to get it. But then again, he really shouldn't be so frustrated with her. He and April's relationship was a huge mess. "Just trust me. I know April. I know they're mine."

"But how can you be sure? Here's what you're going to do…you are going to wait until after the babies are born before you claim any responsibility, financial or otherwise. You'll have April get a paternity test. Once you have the results, we can go from there."

"Mom, just stop! I'm the father, OK?" Jackson snapped. "There's zero chance that it's the other guy because she's only been with me."

Jackson's impassioned response silenced his mother. Feeling bad for raising his voice, he continued, "Look Mom, I'm sorry. I know you didn't want my life to go this way. I know you wanted me to find a girl that you approve of and have a big Avery wedding before we start having a family. But that's not how it's gonna be. Life had other plans. And I'm sorry if you don't much care for April, but you're going to have to get over that because I love her. She's the one I want. She's my family now and whether you like it or not she's your family too."

Sounding a bit wounded, Catherine replied, "You're right, Jackson. You're right. She is my family now. I need to learn to accept that." Sighing, she said, "So how are you going to get rid of this fellow she's seeing."

Relieved, Jackson laughed. "I don't know, Mom. I don't know. I'll take whatever advice you can give me."

* * *

"Don't!" April squealed as Hudson caught her left foot and tickled it mercilessly. "Stop or might kick you! I can't control my reflexes when I'm being tickled."

"Say uncle," Hudson said, his fingers poised to tickle again.

"Uncle, uncle!" April cried.

Hudson let go of April's foot and pulled her into his arms. Cupping her face, he began to kiss her. They'd been kissing for the past couple of weeks, but April had been firm when she'd told him that she didn't want it to go any further than that. After the pregnancy, she would reevaluate, but for now it was best to just stick with kissing and hand holding.

As they kissed, April's mind wandered. Hudson was the fifth guy that she'd ever kissed. Her first kiss had been on New Year's Eve when she was 21. She'd been a little tipsy and when the guy next to her grabbed her during the countdown she hadn't pushed him away. It had just been a peck, but she still counted it as her first kiss. Three years later, she'd had her second kiss. She'd been dating this guy named Jeremy and on the third date he'd planted one on her. They went out a couple of times after that, but then things fizzled. Her third kiss had been with Karev and while it had been passionate, it had lacked a sweetness and tenderness to it. The fourth guy she'd kissed was Jackson. He was the one she'd spent countless hours learning about all the different ways you could kiss. You could kiss with passion, with tenderness, to greet one another in the morning, to say goodnight, to soothe fears, or to channel stress. She'd learned how to use her tongue and what pressure to apply against his mouth to make a groan escape his lips. She'd also learned that if they kissed too long her upper lip would be a little raw from his facial hair. Gosh, she wished it was him she was kissing right now.

Startled by her own thoughts, April broke away from the kiss. Feeling her anxiety level climb, she took deep breaths to steady her breathing. What was she doing? This wasn't right.

"What's wrong?" Hudson asked.

"I…I'm sorry. I…I can't," April half cried, half gasped. Standing up, she began to pace. "I thought I knew what I wanted. I'm so confused. And I don't want to hurt you. And I don't want to hurt Jackson. I just want to do what's right."

"April, relax. Chill out. You're talking like a crazy person."

Hudson's comment made April wince and bristle at the same time, but for some reason it made her doubts dissipate. No matter whether he'd thought it or not, Jackson had never called her crazy. He was always there for her, by her side. Her faults didn't scare him away. With Hudson, she got the impression that one bad move could send him fleeing in the other direction. Jackson knew her. He was her best friend. He knew how to calm her down, how to ease her anxiety. Although she was uncertain whether or not she and Jackson could sustain a romantic relationship, she finally knew for sure that Hudson and her weren't going to work.

"Hudson, we need to talk…"

* * *

Laying awake later that night, April marveled at how well Hudson had taken their break up. He'd just nodded and said he knew it was coming.

In all honesty, April was a bit relieved it was over. She liked Hudson as a person, but she felt like she'd used their relationship as a shield from her own true feelings for Jackson. She didn't want to be hurt anymore so she'd dived into a relationship she knew would leave her unscathed.

No, there was no point in denying it. She loved Jackson. She wanted Jackson. And more than anything, she wanted them to be a real family. The ring, the kids, the house, the works - she wanted it all. He said he wanted her too. Well, she'd just have to see. If he was serious, he'd find a way to prove it to her.

* * *

April felt her stomach roll. This was not a drill. It was happening. Rushing to the nearest bathroom, April brushed past Meredith as she made her way into a stall. After emptying the contents of her stomach, April wearily drug herself to the sink and splashed cold water onto her face. Meredith watched her in dry amusement.

"How far along are you?" she asked.

"What?" April asked in confusion. The contents of her stomach might be gone but the nausea was still very real. She was waiting for the spinning to stop.

Meredith chuckled. "The smell of morning sickness is unmistakable."

April nodded. "The sickness is so much worse this time around, but it's probably because I'm…." April stopped herself. She hadn't even had a chance to confide in her own mother yet. Why was she spilling the beans to her coworker first?

"Because you're what?" Meredith asked, putting her hand on April's stomach. "You're further along than I thought. You must be about 4 months. I thought it was weird that you were wearing baggier clothes."

"No, I'm only 13 weeks."

Meredith sized her up and shook her head. "That can't be right. Your OB must have gotten the dates wrong."

"Nope. The due date is correct. I'm just big because…um…we're expecting twins."

Smiling, Meredith said. "That's great, April. Congratulations! But three kids. I don't know how you and Jackson are gonna do it. It's already hard enough with just two for Derek and I. Good luck."

"How…how'd you know it was Jackson?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "With you, would it be anyone else?"

April blushed, hating how everyone at the hospital seemed to know she was incapable of sleeping with any other man. As they continued to talk about all the joys of pregnancy, they heard a toilet flush. They turned to watch Stephanie step out of the stall.

"Hey, Edwards," Meredith said, nodding in her direction.

"Hey. Congratulations Dr. Kepner," Stephanie said.

"Uh, thanks," April replied, unsure of how to respond to her baby daddy's ex-girlfriend.

After Stephanie left the bathroom, April whispered, "That couldn't have been more embarrassing!"

Meredith shrugged. "Don't sweat it. At least now she knows that your man is off limits."

* * *

"This poor kid," Robbins remarked woefully. "It's a miracle he's still alive. The burns he's sustained. It boggles my mind. He's gonna be in so much pain."

Jackson looked down at the tiny boy on the surgical table. He looked like he was four maybe five years old, not much older than Jonah. He wouldn't know what to do if anything like this happened to his kid. Jackson mentally shook his head. This surgery was going to last for a minimum of three hours and there was no way he was going to be able to continue if he kept up this train of thought. "If we're going to get through this surgery," he said. "We're going to need to lighten up the mood in here. I feel like I haven't seen you guys in a while. Why don't you tell me what's new with you?"

Karev nodded his head in agreement. "Well, Wilson and I are getting married soon. Only one more month. Edwards should know. She's the maid of honor."

"Yeah," Edwards replied. "It's been so amazing dealing with Bridezilla. You're so lucky Karev."

"I need to start looking for a present for you guys. Where are you registered?" Robbins asked.

"Nowhere. We just want cold hard cash."

The wedding talk was pleasant enough to keep Jackson's mind from straying into dark territory. After half an hour, Robbins turned towards him and asked, "What about you? Anything new with you? Still loving fatherhood?"

"It has its ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade being a dad for anything. Jonah is starting to talk more, but other than that life's pretty much the same old same old."

Stephanie snorted at his last comment.

The other doctors looked at her questioningly. "I don't know if I'd agree with that Dr. Avery. Kepner is pregnant with twins after all."

After a few awkward moments passed, Robbins asked, "Is that true?"

"Uh, yeah. April and I are expecting twins. We were just gonna wait a little bit longer before we told everybody. How'd you know?" he asked Stephanie.

"Kepner told Grey in the bathroom."

"Oh."

"Congrats man," Karev said. "Guess those appointments with Mayfield really worked."

* * *

"Hey, Mom. It's me, April."

"Hi, sweetheart. How's everything going?"

"It's good. Did you get those pictures I sent of Jonah in his little suit and tie at church?"

"I did. He's just the cutest, isn't he?"

Breathing in and breathing out, April braced herself for the news she was about to share. "So Mom, I…I have something to tell you. I…I am pregnant…with twins…and Jackson's the father."

April heard her mother gasp on the other end of the line and closed her eyes. The last time that she'd told her mom she was pregnant she didn't yell or scream, but she'd made her disappointment clearly known. April was sad knowing that she would be doing that for the second time.

"Oh, April. This isn't the way you should be living. You're a good girl. A Christian girl. Yet you keep getting into trouble with this boy. The Bible says 'But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.'"

"I know, mama. I know, but we're just not there yet."

"Well, you need to get there. What is it that everybody says these days? He needs to put a ring on it?"


	17. Chapter 17

April pulled the yellow shirt over her head, moaning in frustration as she realized that no amount of tugging or rearranging would get it to fully cover her stomach. A little strip of white skin showed no matter what. She was only 15 weeks. How could she already need maternity clothes this soon?

With Jonah, she'd been able to fit into most of her regular clothes until she was almost 5 months along. She wasn't even 4 months and yet she was struggling to fit one of her larger shirts over her belly.

"That shirt looks a little tight," Arizona noted as she walked into the attendings' lounge. "Looks like you need to go maternity clothes shopping."

April sighed. "I think you're right. I just thought I could squeak by for maybe another month. Doesn't look like it, does it? Now, I just need to find the time…"

"I'm off this Saturday. I was going to go shoe shopping, but if you want someone to go with you, I'm available."

Smiling, April replied, "I'm off Saturday too. That sounds fun. We could go get lunch and then spend the rest of the day shopping. I'm around Jackson and Jonah all the time so it would be nice to have some girl time once in a while."

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

"April, look, this is a cute shirt. It reminds me of that green butterfly shirt you like to wear but this one's pink instead."

April walked over to where Arizona was. Feeling the bottom of the shirt, she nodded her head. "Yeah, I like it. I'll try it on."

April was having an absolute blast with Arizona. Spending time with someone who had similar optimistic mindset really did wonders for the soul. While she and Arizona had always been friendly at work, they'd never been friends, but after today April felt like that would definitely change. Arizona was the first female since Reed who she felt she could confide in.

As April continued to peruse the rest of the rack, she glanced over at Arizona. Feeling comfortable to finally ask about something she had wondered about for months, April said, "I'm surprised you and Callie haven't had another baby. You two adore Sophie. I thought you might want to spread the love around and give her a sibling."

Arizona nodded, her lips pressed together so tightly that they turned white. "We did," she admitted. "Want another baby. But…um…well, I…I was carrying it and it didn't work out. I had a miscarriage."

"Oh no," April replied sympathetically, grasping Arizona's hand in an offer of comfort. As a mom, she could imagine just how devastating that experience would be. She was blessed that her babies were thriving and healthy so far. Even at this early stage in carrying her twins, she knew a part of her would never recover if she lost them. "Arizona, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard that was for you."

Arizona blinked back tears as memories flooded her temple. All the excitement dashed away in the course of one day. "It was terrifying being pregnant, but I really wanted it, you know? I didn't know how much until I lost it."

As Arizona wiped away her tears with the Kleenex she'd offered, April placed her hand on her stomach and sent a silent prayer to the heavens for her babies' safety.

* * *

"So how was shopping?" Jackson asked as he opened the door to let her in. "Did you and Arizona have fun?"

April nodded. "Yeah, it was nice. I think we're going to be good friends. We're going to catch a movie next weekend."

Jackson smiled, relieved that April was once again finding her place in Seattle. The more roots she had here, the harder it would be for her to leave.

Jonah finished with his lunch, squirmed his way out of the chair. "Mama!" he cried, running towards her at full speed.

Scooping him up in her arms, April gave him a big bear hug and giggled as she swung him around ignoring Jackson's scowl. Women had been mastering the art of being pregnant and caring for their other children for thousands of years. Picking up her son every once in a while wasn't going to do any harm.

"Did you have fun today sweetie?"

Jonah nodded. "Me and daddy play. Me and daddy eat burgers. Me and daddy get new shoes," he said, pointing to his red and white sneakers.

April glanced in Jackson's direction. "Isn't it amazing how much better his speech has gotten in the 6 months he's lived here? Before he could barely put two words together. Now, he's speaking in sentences."

Jackson joined them, ruffling his son's curls. "Yeah, Jonah's smart just like his old man."

April gently elbowed him and rolled her eyes. "I think my gene pool might have helped too, you know."

Jackson's hands slid around her waist. Nuzzling her neck, he whispered, "I'm hoping one of these little fetuses will be a girl who will have all your genes. Why mess with perfection?"

With her breathing a little labored, April barely squeaked, "You can use that Avery charm on the other ladies but it won't work on me."

That all too familiar smirk crossed Jackson's face. He knew it had worked. Well, the cheesy line hadn't really, but physical contact with him always left her a little breathless and light-headed. She couldn't deny he had an effect on her.

Stepping away, Jackson sheepishly grinned. "Probably shouldn't do that. Wouldn't want Hudson to be jealous."

April swept a piece of her hair back, debating whether or not to share with him the news of her break up at this exact moment with him all confident and…smirky. Deciding it would only add fuel to the fire, she kept mum. "Well, Jonah and I better get going…"

Nodding, Jackson said, "Right. See you guys later….Oh, wait! I forgot to tell you. My mom's coming to town tomorrow."

"Wait. What?" April sputtered, freezing in mid-stride.

* * *

"Please don't leave me alone with your mother," April whispered desperately as Jackson glanced at the text he'd just received from the hospital.

"You'll be fine," Jackson assured her. "It'll only be for an hour… two, tops."

Clutching his arm, April tried again in vain to convince him. "Don't do this to me!"

He reluctantly shrugged out of her grasp. Crossing the room, he bent and gave his mom a kiss on the cheek. "Something came up at work. Be nice to April," he warned.

After Jackson left, April swung her arms back and forth nervously and headed for the couch. Perched on the edge, April watched as Jonah opened another gift from the mound of presents his doting grandma had bought him.

"It's very sweet of you to buy him all these gifts, Catherine," April finally worked up the courage to say.

"Well, sweetie, I have to make up for all the Christmases, birthdays, Valentine's Days, Easters and all those other holidays that grandparents are usually a part of that I missed."

Yep. There it was. That bitter resentment Catherine felt towards her. It hadn't moved, hadn't budged. April was clearly still Catherine Avery's least favorite person in the world. Why had she even tried to talk? She should have just kept quiet. Yes, she decided, silence was the best option.

"How are you feeling?" Catherine asked after a few minutes of awkward silence had passed. "How are the babies?"

April's hand automatically went out to cover her stomach. Her bump was very real and very prominent at this point. "They're fine. Thanks for asking."

Catherine nodded, smiling in Jonah's direction as he played with his new fire truck.

More awkward seconds ticked by before she continued. "My son said to be nice so I'm trying to be nice, but I still can't shake this feeling of how wrong it is that you're seeing another man while you're pregnant with Jackson's children. You're supposed to be a Christian and yet you act like this?"

April closed her eyes in frustration. She had grown up with others flinging similar insults at her. Being a Christian didn't make her a saint. "I might be a Christian, but I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I have flaws. Being a Christian doesn't erase all that. And as far as me dating another man, not that it's any of your business, but I am no longer seeing him."

Catherine stared wide-eyed at April. "Really?" she drawled. "Does my son know this?"

April shook her head. "I haven't gotten around to telling him yet."

"Well, maybe you should, don't you think?" Catherine replied, eyeing her knowingly. "I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you to know that he's absolutely crazy about you. Thinks the world of you. You've got the kids don't you think you should start working on a marriage?"

Deep down April knew that what Catherine was saying was true. Jackson loved her just as much as she loved him. They just couldn't seem to get their act together for some reason. They needed to talk and decide some things. April wasn't really loving the whole living at Meredith's old house thing. It was barely manageable with one child. She couldn't even fathom what it would be like with three. But, first, she would need to tell Jackson about her break up to get the conversational ball rolling.

Yet she knew she wasn't ready for that. She was absolutely terrified. She loved Jackson so much that she couldn't bear it if things didn't work out again. She wasn't ready to face all that now, but one day soon she knew she would be. A coward's way it might be but with something so fragile as her relationship with Jackson she wasn't taking any chances. She would just pray. And wait.

* * *

Setting his keys on the end table and taking off his jacket, Jackson followed the smell of food wafting from the kitchen. He mussed his son's hair as he walked by him in the living room.

"Hey, mom, you didn't have to make dinner…."

"No," his mom said, kissing him on the cheek. "I didn't. I wanted to. I made one of your favorites - chicken parmesan."

"Thanks, mom….Hey, where's April?" he asked, looking around the apartment.

"She was pretty tired so I told her to go home and rest. She said she'll be back tomorrow."

"Oh," he murmured, a little disappointed. He had hoped that they could have dinner together. Ever since she moved out, the only times he got to see her were when they were picking up or dropping off Jonah. "You didn't scare her off, did you?"

"Boy, don't use that tone with me. And no, I didn't scare her off. I was perfectly polite. On top of that, I learned something that might interest you."

"Yeah and what is that?" Jackson asked, snatching a carrot off the cutting board.

"She broke up with that guy she was seeing."


	18. Chapter 18

It had been a month since Jackson had found out that April and Hudson were no longer together and in that month, Jackson had made absolutely zero progress. April's belly got bigger everyday, but her heart remained unmoved.

He'd tried everything - flowers, chocolates, asking her out on countless dates, doing extra Jonah duty so she could take a nap. Yet, none of it seemed to make even a dent in her steel armor. She was 5 months pregnant. The babies would be here before they knew it. He needed to use this time wisely before they went from having just one child to three. He just wished she would give him a little encouragement. Just something to let him know that all hope was not lost between them. She'd said "too little, too late," but she couldn't mean that. She was the one for him. They were supposed to be together.

He gritted his teeth as he drove to Grey's old house. He hated this back and forth. April should be living with him. It wasn't right that they were apart. Even though he felt like throwing in the towel, he knew he had to keep trying, keep hoping, because someway, somehow, he was gonna make April Kepner just as crazy about him as he was about her.

* * *

April set down the laundry basket, slightly out of breath. Who knew climbing a set of stairs would feel like climbing Mount Everest? Patting her very rotund belly as she took a seat on her bed, she cherished the reason for her current lack of fitness.

Hearing the doorbell, she cursed under her breath. She was 5 months pregnant. She couldn't just get up willy-nilly any old time she wanted to. It was a very long, very laborious process to get back on her feet again.

By the time she made it to the front door, she was out of breath again.

"Come in," she said breathlessly as she motioned to Jackson and Jonah to come inside.

She unzipped her jacket and quickly shrugged out of it as Jonah and Jackson walked through the door. Not only was she out of breath, but she was as hot as a furnace. She had forgotten all the complexities and not so fun realities of pregnancy.

But as soon as she took off the jacket, she quickly realized how skimpy the tank top underneath was. Within a millisecond, Jackson's eyes had zeroed in on her boobs. So the tank top wasn't that skimpy, it was just stretched to the max by her oversized stomach and current breast size.

April cleared her throat in an attempt to get Jackson to look upwards. Licking his lips, Jackson finally moved his eyes from her chest to her face.

"Thank you," she said when his eyes finally met hers. "So I'll keep Jonah tonight and tomorrow night and you'll take him on Monday?"

"Yeah, sounds like a plan," Jackson said, setting down Jonah's bag and giving his son a kiss on the forehead.

The lights suddenly flickered, causing Jonah to let out a cry of terror.

"It's alright, little guy," Jackson said, patting his son on the back. "The lights sometimes do that. It's no big deal. It only lasts for a couple of seconds."

Jackson spoke too soon for in the next moment, the lights stopped flickering and went out completely.

April groaned out loud. "This is not what I need right now. I was just about to start dinner."

"Maybe it'll come back on in a second," Jackson suggested.

"Would you mind going to check the power box for me?"

Ten minutes later, Jackson came back shaking his head. The lights were still off and Jonah was freaking out because watching The Avengers was no longer an option for him.

"I don't wanna stay here," he pouted with a stamp of his foot. "I don't wanna be in the dark! I wanna watch my movie! I wanna eat McDonald's!"

Weary from just standing up on her feet, April was in no mood to fight a three year old in the midst of a tantrum. Maybe it wasn't the best parenting, but she just didn't have strength to win this fight.

"I called the power company and it looks like there are a lot of power outages in this area. They said it might get fixed tonight or tomorrow morning. I don't want to be here without power. Do you mind if we stay at your place?" April asked.

Shaking his head, he replied, "Nope. Not at all. Why don't you pack your stuff and Jonah and I will go pick up a pizza."

"No, daddy! McDonald's!"

The look of disgust on April's face made it clear to Jackson that hamburgers and fries were not part of a pregnant woman's cravings. "No, let's do pizza instead. We'll get a cheese pizza just for you."

"Oh, OK," Jonah halfheartedly agreed.

* * *

Jackson took another swig of his beer. He needed to turn off the TV and put Jonah to bed, but he was afraid to move. His left arm was under April's sleeping head. Once they'd gotten to his place, they ate pizza and played the movie. Three minutes into The Avengers and April was out cold. The credits were now rolling and his son was asleep on his blanket and pillow on the floor. He should move, he needed to move, but he didn't want to. He just wanted to dwell in the simple pleasure of having his entire family with him, of having April's body so close to his.

Jackson stared at her beautiful face and gently brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. Why weren't they together? Why couldn't every night be just like this one?

April's eyes blinked open and she slowly began to sit up. Her hand suddenly clutching her stomach.

"What's wrong?" Jackson asked anxiously, panic rising in his chest.

April shook her head and smiled. "Nothing," she said. "I just felt them kick. Here," she said, grabbing his hand. "Feel."

Jackson spread his hand across the mound of her stomach. He felt one little flutter and then another. "Does it hurt when they do that?"

"Not right now. They're still pretty little, but later on when they get bigger it sometimes hurts. Jonah was a regular little soccer player. I thought my poor bladder would never get a rest."

Of her own free will, April interlaced his fingers with her own and rested her head against his. He really wanted to talk, to tell April that he wanted her to move back in with him, to convince her to give them another try, but he knew that if he spoke he would ruin the moment.

"So I've been thinking…" April began.

"Yeah?" Jackson replied, holding his breath. Maybe she did want to talk about their relationship after all.

"About baby names."

Jackson winced. Not really what he was hoping for, but it was definitely a topic that needed to be discussed.

"Mmmhmm."

"I kind of like the J name thing. I was thinking if we have a boy and a girl we could name them Jack and Jill."

"Like the Adam Sandler movie?"

April's face scrunched up in displeasure. "No, like the nursery rhyme, but now that you say that all I can think of is Adam Sandler in a dress. Scratch those names. What names have you thought of?"

He hadn't thought of any. Trying to be humorous, he replied, "If they're boys, we could name them Walker and Texas Ranger. You know, like from Talledega Nights."

April rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Not funny, Jackson. Seriously we've got to think of some names."

"You like religion. We could do Adam and Eve or Cain and Abel."

April removed her hand from his and looked at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Cain killed his brother. We're not naming our child after a murderer."

Jackson scratched his head. He probably should have paid more attention in the religion class he took in college.

"But along the religion lines, I was thinking Faith and Hope if we have two girls."

"Yeah, those are nice," Jackson agreed. "I have an uncle that I absolutely thought was the coolest when I was a kid. His name was Norbert. We could do Norbert and…Nicole or Noelle or Nellie?"

"Norbert? Really? Is our theme for naming children based off of movies where men dress up in fat suits?"

Jackson grimaced and shook his head. "I really do have an Uncle Norbert, but I'd forgotten about that movie. What do you think we're going to have? What do you want to have?"

"I definitely want at least one girl. I think three boys might be the death of me. And if we have twin girls there are so many cute names. We could do Isabella and Gabriella or Ava and Olivia."

"I almost forgot!" April exclaimed. "I wrote down a list of the names I like." Getting out her phone, she opened the Notes app. "Here's what I've got for boy and girl names…Oliver and Olivia, Bronx and Brooklyn…"

"Bronx?" Jackson questioned, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"It's a cute name pair. Can't blame me for considering it. So, that's a no….How about Miles and Makenzie, Lincoln and Lilith, or Landon and London?"

"I like Miles but I don't know about Makenzie. Lincoln and Lilith sounds fine too. What if we have two boys?"

Putting down her phone, April rested her hands over her stomach. "I don't want to think about that."

"OK. We won't think about that," Jackson said as he took one of her hands in his own and rested his head against hers again.

"I like this," April whispered.

"Me too," Jackson replied before kissing her on the forehead. Taking in a deep breath, he dared to broach the topic he'd been afraid to mention, "It could be like this all the time if you moved back in."

April closed her eyes and sighed. "Let's just take it one day at a time. I'll stay tonight and we'll see what tomorrow brings."

It wasn't a flat out no so Jackson at least had hope. "Deal," he replied.

"And no more staring at my boobs."

Jackson chuckled. "No guarantees there, babe. You're gonna flaunt them. I'm gonna look at them."

April's eyes flickered open and she started to sit up. "I am not flaunting them!" she hissed.

Pressing her back down against the cushions, Jackson kissed her cheek and nuzzled her neck. "Alright. Alright. I promise I won't stare at your boobs anymore."

Who was he kidding? He was totally going to keep staring at her boobs. He was just gonna have to find a way to be less obvious about it.

* * *

 


	19. Chapter 19

"This is it. The moment of truth," Dr. Carter said, holding the ultrasound wand over April's belly. "You ready?"

April nodded eagerly, squeezing Jackson's hand. She couldn't wait to find out the sex of her twins. She sent up a prayer to heaven that at least one of them would be a girl.

Feeling the wand move over her stomach, April's eyes shot to the monitor searching for signs of gender.

"Hmph," Dr. Carter sighed, exasperated. "These babies of yours are little wiggle worms. It's hard to find out what they are when they won't stay still."

Please babies, just be still long enough for us to know what you are, April prayed.

"Looks like they're deciding to settle down. Let's see. What do we have here? I think this one is a little boy…"

April bit her lip nervously. All babies were blessings, but please be a girl, please be a girl, please be a girl.

"And the other one…is a girl."

"Yes!" April practically shouted. "We're having a girl!"

"I guess we can name them Jack and Jill after all," Jackson murmured in her ear.

April swatted at him. "Hush! Your sarcasm won't dampen my mood. Not today anyway."

* * *

"We should go shopping," April suggested as they made their way back to the car. "I'm in the mood to buy all sorts of cute baby girl clothes. I'll need to get boy clothes too, but not very many. I kept a couple of boxes of Jonah's old things. Oh my goodness! It's going to be so much fun to dress her up and do her hair," she squealed with glee.

"We probably should do some shopping," Jackson agreed. "The babies will be here in a few months. We should go ahead and buy things for the nursery too."

April covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh my! The nursery! I hadn't even thought of that! You're right. We should take advantage of the fact your mom is watching Jonah and try to get as much shopping done as possible. Baby clothes can wait, but a nursery takes time to set up."

Jackson took her hand in his own. "Before we go, I have something to show you."

"OK…"

* * *

"Oh, Jackson!" April gasped as she walked from room to room. "This place is lovely!"

"I just bought it a week ago. In two weeks, it'll be ready to move in to. It's got 4 bedrooms and 4 baths and those hardwood floors you love. What do you say? Move in with me?"

April took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. This was a big step. Sure, over the past month, she and Jonah had spent more time at Jackson's apartment than at Meredith's old place, but was she truly ready to live with Jackson? It would have to be for good. No more of this moving back and forth. That wouldn't be possible with two infants and a toddler. No, if she were to move in with Jackson it would be permanent.

"I don't know, Jackson…"

Jackson grabbed both her hands and pulled her close. Well, as close as he could while she was 6 months pregnant with twins. He rubbed her back with one hand as he nuzzled her neck. "I know it's been hard for us. We've both said and done things that we regret, but I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know you might not be there yet, but can you give me one more chance? I promise I won't blow it. And if you're not ready to move forward with us, then move in for our kids. They deserve to have both parents present in their lives. And think about you. How much easier will it be if I'm here to help with the twins? You won't have to go it alone."

April nodded. She wanted to move in with him. She really did and not just because of their children. She wanted a life with him. Yet her old friend, anxiety, stopped by with a brick ton of what ifs. What if they didn't work out? What if she had to fight for custody of her children against the crazy rich Averys? What if he was just saying this stuff and didn't mean any of it? What if they lived together and he realized he didn't love her? What if he didn't love her and was just wanting to be near his children?

April squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out all the intruding thoughts. I will not let my doubts control me, she told herself.

"You understand that if I move in that doesn't mean we're together?"

"Yes."

"And we'll have separate rooms?"

"Of course."

April stood, mulling over this decision. If she wanted things to progress, then she needed to take a leap of faith.

"So does that mean you're moving in?" Jackson asked.

Patting him on the shoulder, April replied with more bravado than she actually had, "Yep. It looks like you and I are gonna be roomies again, Jack-man."

* * *

_Two weeks later_

April stood with one hand on her belly, staring in awe at the short work the movers had made of arranging the furniture. Not only that, but Jackson had hired some college students to help unpack. All she had to do was direct he said. The beds were made, the dishes were in the cabinets, the walls were decorated, the clothes were in the closets…it was all done. Their house was a home in less than half a day. Two of the college girls had offered to help decorate the nursery, but April had politely declined. Other than arranging the babies' furniture, she didn't need any help. In fact, she looked forward to putting all the little finishing touches in the room for little Judah and Juliet or Jacob and Josie or James and Julia (she and Jackson hadn't fully committed to any names yet). Before moving in Jackson had painted the nursery sage green, a perfect complement to the owl and forest themed bedding and decorations they had bought.

With Jonah in tow, she made her way to the nursery, the only room that still had boxes left to open.

"This will be your brother and sister's room," she told Jonah.

"Baby," Jonah nodded, patting her belly.

April ignored the urge to correct his use of the singular when she so keenly felt that she was carrying the plural.

"You wanna help Mama make the room special for your brother and sister?"

"Otay," Jonah cheerfully replied.

Realistically, April knew he wouldn't A) be that much help and B) be able to stay here long without getting bored. Walking over to the first box, she found a box of Jonah's old clothes. Digging the hangers out of a bag, she put them on the floor next to Jonah. "When Mama says she needs a hanger, bring me one and we'll hang up your old clothes for baby brother."

After an hour of putting up clothes and arranging only a quarter of the billion items that babies seemed to need, April felt in need of a break. Jonah had left her ten minutes in to play with his train in his new "so cool" bedroom. She poured herself a glass of cold water and went to find Jonah. He was zonked out on the floor next to his train. Knowing she shouldn't attempt to pick him up in her current pregnant state, she grabbed the pillow off his bed and gently placed it under his head. Then, she took his favorite blanket and covered him with it.

Since Jonah's taking a nap, I might as well too, she thought. Jackson would be home from work in a couple of hours so she had plenty of time before she had to start making dinner.

* * *

April woke to the feel of strong, masculine arms around her. Turning her head, she saw a slumbering Jackson, his breath hitting the back of her neck every few seconds.

Glancing at the clock, she realized she'd only been sleeping for an hour and that Jackson must have come home early. Straining her ears, she listened for signs of Jonah. Not hearing anything, she assumed he was still asleep. He didn't take naps very often anymore but when he did they were long ones.

April debated what to do. On one hand, she'd explicitly told Jackson that she didn't want them to share a room. On the other hand, it felt absolutely delicious to be in his arms again.

Her internal debate didn't last long because she found she didn't really care that he'd snuck in. She loved him and any excuse to be in his proximity was good enough for her.

Closing her eyes, she snuggled closer and promptly fell back to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

"Over the past couple of weeks we've talked about pregnancy with multiples and preventing preterm labor. This week's class will be about labor preparation - most importantly your support person's role in helping you feel calm and relaxed before labor begins."

As their instructor, Sheryl, continued to talk, April set about making herself comfortable, well, as comfortable as a 7 month pregnant woman could be.

She really enjoyed coming to the classes, not so much because it helped her prepare for labor, but because it was nice to meet and get to know other women who were also expecting multiples. While she came for the social aspect, Jackson came to learn. The pregnancy and labor thing was completely new to him. They had a class about basic infant care that April had planned on skipping because she'd gotten her crash course just by having Jonah, but Jackson had mentioned that he was looking forward to that class so it was pretty much a given that she'd have to go now. It wouldn't hurt her to have a refresher and Jackson, while very adept at caring for their toddler, was clueless when it came to infant care and needed all the preparation he could get.

"This session has always been a student favorite," Sheryl went on to say. "This is all about breathing and relaxation techniques. And since everyone here is a couple, we'll do the more PG version of relaxation. Labor partners, you are going to learn how to give the world's best massages starting tonight!"

It was on the tip of April's tongue to correct their teacher. She and Jackson were not exactly a couple, but Sheryl had already moved on and April didn't want to be that person who always interrupted for trivial matters.

"Let's first start off with some breathing techniques."

* * *

Jackson hadn't realized there were so many breathing techniques. He'd always thought you breathed in and you breathed out. Apparently, he was wrong. There were at least a half an hour's worth of different ways to inhale and exhale.

When the instructor finally said it was time for the relaxation and massage part of the class, he practically hollered. Learning how to breathe to relieve the pain of childbirth was great and all, but he'd been waiting all evening for the main event. Touching April. Although he'd convinced her to move in with him, she was adamant that they weren't a couple. And in April's mind, if you weren't a couple, you didn't get to touch. OK, so maybe he'd gotten around that a few times but for the most part their relationship was pretty platonic.

No, he'd use any excuse to have a prolonged time of touching the woman he loved. He wouldn't mind if the touching led to something else. It had been months since he'd had sex and he was more than up for trying out the sexual positions mentioned in the pregnancy book he'd read.

"We'll start with a simple hand massage," Sheryl said. "Take your partner's hand. Begin by massaging the palm and then move on to massaging each individual finger."

Smiling, Jackson took April's smaller hand in his own and began to massage. A bigger grin spread across his face when she let a small moan escape.

"Feel good?" he asked, unable to hide his smirk.

"Oh hush, it doesn't mean anything. I'm so bloated and achy that Darth Vader could be giving me a massage and it would feel good."

"Wow. High praise indeed," Jackson murmured, raising one of his eyebrows as he continued to massage her hand.

April closed her eyes and continued to enjoy the massage of both her hands in silence.

After a few minutes, Sheryl said, "Now partners, let's massage our partners' shoulders."

Moving behind April, Jackson began to slowly and gently massage her shoulders. He knew he was doing something right when her head fell back. Leaning forward, he put a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Your shoulders are so tight. You're so tense. I know something that might help relieve that tension," he whispered suggestively in her ear. "Besides my awesome skills at massaging of course."

"We are in the middle of a birth preparation class," April hissed in a hushed voice. "Now is not the time to discuss such things."

"So there is a time to discuss such things? Tell me when and where and I'll meet you there."

April elbowed him in the gut. "You and I both know going down that path is not a good idea."

"And why not? I love you and I'm pretty sure you love me too."

"Love's not our problem," April replied, somewhat defeatedly. "Trust is. You don't trust me not to hurt you again."

Jackson sighed. She was right. He did have trouble trusting her. He had trouble trusting people in general. "I want to trust you," he said softly.

April froze. He stopped massaging her shoulders as she turned to look at him.

"I love you and have forgiven you, but it doesn't change the fact that I am still hurt by what you did. I missed two years of my kid's life. It's only natural that I would have trust issues, but you've taken a lot of steps to make up for that which I appreciate. I wish I could say that I'm going to magically trust you 100% overnight, but I can't. What I can say is that I love you and want you as my family and that I'll commit to making things work."

April nodded. "I know it's not easy. I know it will take baby steps."

"But know that I want to take each step with you."

April opened her mouth to say something else, but their instructor was already giving directions for the next exercise. "Now, ladies and gentlemen, this last massage is the best one of all. Nothing feels better to a pregnant woman, than having her lower back massaged. All right, future mommies, turn on to your side."

Sticking his hands underneath her shirt, Jackson began to gently massage her lower back. Another moan escaped her lips.

"You must have magic fingers…" April moaned.

"I've got something else that's magic too."

April blushed. He probably shouldn't be so suggestive in the middle of a birthing class, but he couldn't help it. He loved seeing her stammer and blush.

"I meant what I said," he whispered. "I want us to have another shot."

* * *

April stepped out of the shower and slipped on her robe. As she tied the belt around her waist, she couldn't help but reflect on the evening's events. Jackson had given her a massage from heaven and they'd managed to have an honest dialogue for the first time in ages. She finally understood how big of a risk he was taking by loving her. If he was willing to take the risk, why wasn't she?

Tiptoeing out of the bathroom, she made her way to Jackson's room. Placing her hand on the doorknob, she paused, debating whether or not she should do this. Despite her pounding heart and her over-clouded mind, she grabbed hold of the doorknob and turned. She couldn't let her worries and doubts keep her from a future of happiness. She had to go with her heart.

"Hey," Jackson said, looking up from his tablet. "What's up?"

Oh, gosh, she thought, what do I say now? Hey, Jackson, just thought I'd come over for a bit of sex.

"Well, I just thought…you know, I was thinking…like about what you said…"

"I've said a lot of things," Jackson replied cockily as he set the tablet on the nightstand.

"Tonight…when you said…when you said we should…"

Jackson just grinned. Oh, he was loving this. He knew exactly why she had come to his room and now he was making her eat crow.

"Are you talking about when I said we should get Jonah a swing set for Christmas?"

"No. Although, I do think that's a good idea. I thought maybe we should have…"

"A talk?"

"No."

"A late night snack?"

"Oh shut up. You know I want sex!"

Jackson threw the covers back on the other side of the bed and patted them in invitation. "Well, come on over here then."

Biting her lip, April asked, "Do you think it's a good idea? What do you think it will mean if we do it?"

"It will mean that you love me and I love you. It'll also mean that we're going to give us a real chance. No moving out, no take backs, no matter how hard it gets. So to answer your first question, yes, I think this is a good idea."

Taking nervous, tentative steps, April made her way to Jackson's bed.

"It's gonna be alright, April. We're gonna make it this time." Jackson whispered in her ear as he pulled her into his arms.

* * *

Jackson felt like laughing. He hadn't felt this carefree and lighthearted in years. It was a wonder what a night of good loving could do for a person. It was still early yet, only 6:30 in the morning and miraculously Jonah was still asleep.

April rustled under the covers next to him.

"Good morning beautiful," he said.

"At seven months pregnant, I'm hardly that," April argued.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met," Jackson confessed.

"No sex for half a year must have really gotten to you. Now, you're just speaking gibberish."

"I mean it, April. You're the world to me. And I've got…" Jackson said, opening the drawer of his nightstand and reaching for the box that he'd purchased 3 months ago, "something for you."

April stared at him, dumbfounded. "What's in the box?"

"Open it and you'll find out."

April carefully took the box from him and slowly opened it. Inside was a one carat princess-cut diamond engagement ring.

"Oh, Jackson."

Taking her hand in his own, he said, "April Marie Kepner, will you marry me?"

April nodded excitedly. "Yes, yes, I will marry you!"

Jackson took the ring out of the box and quickly slipped it on her finger. Leaning over, he placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too," April replied, returning his kiss.

All of a sudden, a giggle escaped from her lips.

"What's so funny?" Jackson asked.

"It's nothing," April said, still laughing but shaking her head.

"What? Tell me."

"It's just I never imagined that when I finally got proposed to it would be by a naked man. I just always thought he'd be wearing clothes and stuff."

Jackson reached for her hand. "We can do this over again. Give me the ring back and I'll go put some clothes on."

"No, no," April said, shaking her head. "This was perfect. Besides we don't have time for that. We've got to start making plans…"

* * *

 


	21. Chapter 21

April surveyed the reception area at the hotel. She couldn't help but be impressed with herself. In less than a month, she had executed her vision. She was getting married to the man she adored in the most perfect setting possible - the hotel in San Francisco where their romantic relationship had begun.

At 32 weeks pregnant, travel was heavily discouraged, but once April had it set in her mind where she wanted to get married there was no reasoning with her. Her mind was set and plans were made.

And today was the day. The day she had dreamt about since she was a little girl. There was no field of butterflies, a January wedding made that impossible but there was not a decoration or creative decision that April was not heartily in love with. This was the wedding of her dreams.

It was a small wedding, only about fifty of their closest friends and family were joining them. She would have been OK with an elopment, but Jackson had insisted on a real wedding. He wanted a reason to celebrate. So she'd started planning and everything fell into place.

In under two hours, she would be Mrs. Jackson Avery though professionally she would still go by Kepner. The only thing that wasn't 100% perfect was her dress. At 8 months pregnant, she didn't have many options. It was either this white shapeless potato sack decorated with bows or that ivory garbage bag covered in sequins. She'd chosen the option that her mother and bridesmaids insisted made her look less like a whale and more like a human bride.

But she wouldn't think on that now. There were too many details to check and double check. She smiled as she approached the dessert table. Their wedding cake stood three tiers tall with a band of snowflakes painted artfully across from bottom to top. From there, her eye surveyed a table loaded with fruit, chocolate fondue, cheesecakes, and Jackson's ridiculous groom's cake. April rolled her eyes remembering Jackson's insistence on having a cake shaped like a sneaker.

Light blue candles, pinecones, and beautiful centerpieces created from hydrangeas adorned each of the twelve tables in the room. A steak dinner would be served following the ceremony (another one of Jackson's requests) but in deference to her current condition no alcohol would be served.

They'd decided to hire a band to play music and a dance floor was being polished at this very moment. Although walking was become more and more of a chore as each day passed, April couldn't imagine having a wedding without having a first dance.

Satisfied with the progress being made in the small ballroom, April made her way to the room where the ceremony would be held. The chairs were aligned in rows. As in the reception area, this room was also full to busting with blue hydrangeas and white roses. Pinecones made their appearance again this time in the form of aisle decorations. The style of her wedding was simple, clean, and elegant - nothing too froufrou. She didn't have time for fancy, but she wouldn't have wanted it anyway. After 27 days of nonstop wedding planning, April was fully satisfied with the outcome. Now, the only thing to be done was to get herself ready.

* * *

Jackson stared at himself in the mirror as he straightened his tie. He could hardly believe that an hour from now he would be a married man. April would be his wife. And before he knew it he would be the father to not just one child but three. In the space of a year, his life had gone from zero to sixty. For much of his life, he'd coasted along without too many worries without focusing too much on family or relationships. Now, that was all different. He'd gone from being all about work and surgery to being all about being a dad to Jonah and a partner to April. Work still mattered, but it was no longer what made him get up in the morning. No that motivation came from a pair of hazel eyes resting in the face of the most beautiful redhead he'd ever seen. With or without this ceremony, his life was forever changed.

"Daddy, you marrying mama today?" Jonah asked as Jackson helped his son into his suit jacket.

"Yeah, son. I'm marrying your mama today."

"And we a family now? I have brother. I have sister."

"That is true too."

"Why I gotta carry this pillow?" Jonah asked looking down at the satin pillow in his hands.

"Because your mama wants you too."

"Mama real bossy."

"Yeah, she is, but that's part of her charm."

"What's charm?"

"It's why I love your mama." Not the most accurate of answers, but he was getting married in fifteen minutes. He didn't have time to try to break down an abstract word for his three year old son.

Picking up Jonah, he said, "We gotta find your Grandma Kepner. She's going to make sure you go down the aisle when you're supposed to. Remember little man, walk slow and don't drop the pillow."

"Okay, daddy."

As they left the groom's dressing room, Jackson caught sight of Arizona who, to put it mildly, was in a bit of a panic.

"Jackson!" she called, making her way through the crowded hallway.

"What's up?" he asked, his hand on his son's head to prevent him from chasing after the ball that one of his cousins had accidentally dropped.

"We've got a bit of an emergency," Arizona whispered. "April's locked herself in the bathroom and she won't come out."

Jackson passed his son off to Arizona. "I'll go check on her," he said.

* * *

"April, what's wrong?" Jackson asked as he knocked on the bathroom door.

"I can't do this Jackson. I just can't. I'm sorry."

His heart stood still, but he forced himself to ask, "You don't want to marry me?"

"Of course, I want to marry you! Just not today. Not looking like this. I look…I look horrible."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jackson, I am due in a month, probably less. I don't know what possessed me to think I should get married this far along. I didn't like this dress when I tried it on in the store and I like it even less now. I look hideous. It's supposed to be my wedding day. I'm supposed to look beautiful."

"Babe, I'm positive you look beautiful," Jackson smiled as he called through the wooden door.

"Well, I don't. I look like the ghost of a school bus in this getup. I might as well have thrown a king sized sheet over my head."

Jackson bit his lip to keep from laughing.

"OK, this is your cue to assure me that I don't," April advised. "Wait, are you laughing?"

Opening the bathroom door in a pregnant rage, April stood with her hand on one hip ready to scold her future husband. The anger-filled words left her mind as she saw the awe on Jackson's face.

"April, you look beautiful…like a…a fairy." Jackson searched his mind for an appropriate compliment but found that was the best he could come up with on such short notice.

"A fat fairy," April grumbled.

"But beautiful nonetheless. What's the real reason you're nervous? You have to know that everyone is going to admire how amazing you look, pregnant or not."

April walked to the loveseat in the hallway and sat down. Jackson joined her and gently fondled a loose curl of her hair.

"It's just that I've dreamed of this day ever since I was a little girl. I wanted it to be perfect. Everything about this day is perfect except me."

"What?" Jackson asked, confused.

"When you're a bride, you're supposed to be fresh and innocent ready to begin a new chapter with your groom. Here I am, used and worn out in the middle of the book. This isn't when things were supposed to happen. It's not first comes three babies, then marriage. I screwed everything up."

Jackson tilted her chin so she could look at him. "You didn't do anything wrong. Sure our timeline is unconventional, but it's our journey. If we hadn't gone through what we went through the way that we did, we would not be here today. We would not be this strong or this happy. I am not ashamed of our journey and you shouldn't be either." Looking at his watch, Jackson said, "Now, I've got somewhere to be. I hope I'll see you there in about five." With that, he kissed her cheek and walked off.

* * *

Jackson wasn't going to lie. He wasn't sure that his pep talk had been enough to convince April to walk down the aisle. When the wedding march began and the doors opened, he breathed a sigh of relief as he watched her beaming face walk closer and closer to him.

The next half hour passed in a blur. He knew he said his vows, but darned if he could remember them. He remembered Jonah's decision to take a break from standing and lie down for a bit. He also remembered April's quick snap of her fingers that got her son back up on his feet again. Oh and he remembered the kiss after they were pronounced man and wife. That had definitely been memorable. Everything the preacher had said, not a word of which he recollected, but he was officially married now and that was all that mattered.

* * *

"Come with me," April whispered, grabbing Jackson's hand. "I want to show you something."

Still chewing on his steak, Jackson quickly swallowed and whispered back, "We're just gonna leave in the middle of our reception?"

April shrugged. "We'll be back. Eventually."

They stepped into the elevator and April hit the button for the sixth floor.

"Where are we going?" Jackson asked in between kisses.

"You'll find out," April teased before pressing her lips against his once more.

Within minutes, they stood before a very familiar door. "Remember this room?" April asked, opening the door to room 623.

"Yeah," Jackson replied, walking in. "How could I forget?"

"I didn't think I was going to get this exact room for the weekend, but this morning I found out there had been a cancellation. We'll get to celebrate our honeymoon where the magic all began."

Flopping on the bed, Jackson asked, "Did you bring me up here to get an early start to our honeymoon?"

Smiling slyly, April replied, "Maybe…"


	22. Chapter 22

Setting down the glass of water she'd just guzzled, April exclaimed, "Whew, this is spicy! These chilaquiles are good, but a little too hot."

"I agree," Jackson replied. "This restaurant's a little heavy handed with the spice. Their salsa is hotter than I like."

"You like your taco, Jonah?" April asked. Turning to Jackson, she said, "I hope his food isn't too spicy for him. Maybe we should have stuck with a Mexican restaurant we knew. I was just hungry and this place was close."

Smiling at his wife of three weeks, Jackson replied, "Don't worry about it. It's nice to try new places. I was getting tired of Señor Tequila's anyway. They are always playing the same ten songs. You'd think they'd made enough money to buy a new CD or at least discover Spotify."

April was going to reply that she thought the same thing, but was immediately caught off guard by a stabbing pain in her belly. It lasted for just a second and before she got a chance to register what it was her mind was occupied elsewhere, namely, with the tantrum her son was beginning to throw.

"I don't want taco. Want burrito." Jonah whined, pushing his plate away.

"Little man, you shook your head yes when we asked if you wanted a taco. You're gonna eat the taco," Jackson said, putting the plate back in front of his son.

"No!" Jonah shouted, pushing his plate onto the floor.

Gritting his teeth, Jackson said, "Pick the plate off the floor…now."

Jonah shook his head back and forth, his curls flopping about against his forehead.

"Jonah…Reed…Avery, pick it up now or we'll go out to the car and I'll spank your bottom. I'll give you to the count of ten. Ten…nine…" Jackson warned.

April would have chipped in her two cents but she was more preoccupied by what she was now very sure was a contraction. She breathed slowly in and out trying to steel herself to deal with the pain.

"Three…two…" As Jackson approached the number one, Jonah scrambled to the floor to pick up the plate. He had gotten his first spanking from Jackson a couple of days ago so he knew his father meant what he said.

"Now, you're going to help clean up the rest of the mess on the floor," he told his son before turning to April. "Babe, would you flag our waitress? We're going to need a broom or something to clean this up."

Jackson got underneath the table to help his son clean. "We might need a mop too. Jonah must've spilled his drink."

"No, he didn't spill his drink."

"Was it already here when we sat down at the table?"

Shaking her head, April said, "No. No. Jackson, I think we need to go. We need to pay for our food and we need to go."

"OK. Sure babe. Let me finish cleaning this mess up first."

"No, we'll have to have someone else clean it up. We need to go now. My water just broke."

Jackson's head flew up so quickly that he banged it against the table. Emitting a curse, he stood, a little shakily, and picked up Jonah. Grabbing some cash from his wallet, he threw it on the table. "They're coming? Right now?" he asked his wife.

"Yep, right now," April said, nodding as she scooted out of the booth. Jackson took her arm with his free hand. On their way to the exit, April paused for a moment. Clutching her tightening stomach, April closed her eyes as she breathed through the pain.

"Mama? What wrong?" Jonah asked worriedly. He patted his mother's head and whispered, "It OK, mama. It OK."

It was not OK at all, April thought as she regained her composure enough to walk out the door. She was only 35 weeks pregnant. She'd wanted to make it to 37 weeks before going into labor. It was too soon. The babies needed more baking time. She felt panic start to rise in her chest and firmly told herself to get a grip. Freaking out wasn't going to help her deliver these babies.

Jackson was oddly silent through all of it. He walked her and Jonah to the car as he dialed the phone. "Hey Robbins, it's that time. Yeah, her water just broke. Is it cool if we drop Jonah off with you? We've got his overnight bag in the car with us….Yeah, it's been there for a month now. You know April. She's nothing if not organized….OK. Be there in ten."

April sighed in relief. The plan had always been that Arizona would watch Jonah while she had the babies, but doctors had crazy schedules and April had been worried that Arizona wouldn't be able to watch Jonah. It was good news that she could.

Once on the road, Jackson took April's hand and pressed a soft kiss on the back of it. "This is it. We're about to meet them. How are you feeling?"

"Not good," April admitted. "It's too soon. I'm not ready. We haven't even decided on names for them."

"That can wait, hon. Let's get them out of you first."

"I just hate knowing that they're coming into the world without names."

Jackson sighed dramatically. "OK, if we must, let's go ahead and name them Jack and Jill."

April swatted at Jackson playfully. "Shut up. We're not naming them that."

"Oh, no," Jonah yelled. "Mama say a bad word. Not to say shut up. Mama smack your booty if you say that word again."

Jackson chuckled.

"What?" April asked, looking at him.

He shook his head. "Nothing. I was just imagining you trying to spank yourself." He winced as her elbow jabbed him in the stomach. "Sorry. Sorry."

April was about to turn and tell Jonah that mommies were allowed to say that word when she was caught in the grips of another contraction. "Hurry," she whispered. "I think they're getting closer."

Instead of slowing through the yellow light, Jackson pressed down on the gas. "Don't worry. We'll get you to the hospital soon."

* * *

"Thanks, Arizona. We really appreciate this," April said.

Kissing her son good-bye, she whispered, "Mama loves you. We'll be back soon. Be good for Arizona."

Tears welled up in her son's eyes. "Why you leave me, Mama?"

Her contractions were five minutes apart and she really didn't have time for this conversation, but seeing her son in distress made her pause. She had to try to make him feel better.

"Mama won't be gone for long. Just for a day or two. And when I come back you'll get to see your brother and sister. I'm going to the hospital so they'll get out of my tummy."

"Oh," Jonah nodded acting as if he fully comprehended. "I help?"

"No. Mama and the doctors are gonna get the babies out but I appreciate you wanting to help."

"Don't worry little man. Dad will be there to help," Jackson piped in.

April scoffed. "Yeah, your contribution was months ago. Not much you can do now."

Grinning, Jackson jested, "So I'll just drop you off at the hospital and head over to Joe's for a drink until you're done?"

"You're not funny." April replied. Giving her son one final kiss and hug, she got back in the car.

* * *

"Oh my gosh," April groaned in pain. "Have I told you how much I hate you today?"

"I know. I'm the worst."

"It's not enough that you've already put me through this once, but you have to go ahead and do it twice."

Stroking back her hair, Jackson ignored the slice of pain he felt at the mention of Jonah's birth. He hadn't been there for that. This experience was totally new for him even though it shouldn't be. He should have been there for Jonah's birth. But this wasn't the time or place to bring that up. He'd forgiven April for what she'd done. There was no use in rehashing it.

As another contraction came, April let out of a string of expletives not usually uttered by a Christian woman. "You suck," April cried. "You really, really suck."

April was uttering another expletive when her OB and an intern walked in. "Hi, Dr. Carter," she said, her tone full of sugary sweetness.

"Hi April. This is Dr. Ingle," the older woman mentioned as she crossed to the sink to wash her hands. "How's it going?"

April smiled. "It could be better."

"Sounds like those contractions are pretty strong. Let's take a look and see how far dilated you are."

April closed her eyes. Her lips moved but no words came out. Jackson knew this meant she was praying. He was more than a little scared that she was praying for God to strike him dead for putting her through all this pain.

Dr. Carter looked up from between April's legs. "It looks like you're ready to push. Ten centimeters."

"Praise the LORD," April murmured.

* * *

April had been pushing for twenty minutes and still no sign of either baby. How long was this going to take? Jackson wondered. April was in a lot of pain. She'd opted to have the baby naturally with the choice to have an epidural if needed, but the time had passed for her to safely get an epidural. She was going to have to finish this naturally whether she wanted to or not. He hated seeing her in pain and wished there was something he could do.

"April, I'm going to need you to stop pushing," Dr. Carter said. "The babies are showing some signs of distress so I think it would be best if we did an emergency C-section."

Jackson's heart doubled its speed. How could this be happening? he thought. Everything was going just fine.

"What?" April asked, looking at Dr. Carter forlornly. "What's wrong? Are the babies going to be OK?"

"The sooner we can do the C-section the better their chances are. I'd like to chat and answer all of your questions, but the truth of the matter is we really don't have the time. We need to get you into an OR immediately. Dad, we're sorry but you won't be able to join us."

Jackson placed a kiss on April's forehead. "You're going to be fine. The babies will be fine. I love you. Don't worry."

A tear was trickling down April's cheek as she croaked back her own words of love.

* * *

The next 30 minutes were the most hellish of Jackson's entire life. Up until this moment, he thought the shooting at the hospital had been his scariest experience. Not so now. The fear of losing April, his beloved wife, had him shaking in his far too expensive sneakers.

He didn't know if the babies were alright or if his wife was alright. He knew nothing except the all consuming fear rattling his brain. He tried to imagine what his life would be like without April and couldn't. He knew if she left him the only reason he would continue on was Jonah. She had to be OK. The babies had to be OK. He had to believe that. Surely, life/fate/God wouldn't be that cruel not just when he'd just gotten April back in his life.

Fear shot through him as he watched Dr. Carter walk into the waiting room. He had been hoping to see the intern walk through the doors. The B team always delivered good news, but the clueless intern was nowhere to be seen. As the OB approached, Jackson solemnly rose to his feet and waited to hear his fate.


	23. Chapter 23

Jackson rarely noticed the sound that his heart made. The beats, the palpations, all happened round the clock but 99.9% of the time he was blissfully unaware of how hard his heart worked to pump blood throughout his system. Of course there were times when he was cognizant such as after a fast sprint, an amazing round of sex, or, like in this case, a jolt of fear.

"Dr. Avery…." Dr. Carter began as she approached.

"I don't need any niceties. Just tell me. Is my wife OK? Did April make it?"

Dr. Carter closed the space between herself and Jackson. Putting a kind hand on his shoulder, the older woman smiled. "April and the twins are just fine. We performed the c-section just in the nick of time. We had to put your wife under general anesthesia so she won't wake up for another hour or so, but you're welcome to see your new son and daughter. Your son weighed in at five pounds two ounces and he's fifteen inches long. Your daughter is a little smaller but still weighs a respectable four pounds and eleven ounces and she's just a little bit shorter than her brother at fourteen inches long."

Relief swept over Jackson. He didn't even think to ask why she'd come to share the news with him instead of the intern; it was irrelevant now anyways. April was OK. Their babies were OK. They'd made it.

"Yeah, I'd like to see them. I'm going to make a phone call first, but I'll be right there."

Dr. Carter smiled and headed back down the hallway.

Grabbing his phone out of his pocket, Jackson dialed his mother's number.

"Hi, baby. What's up?" Catherine Avery answered.

Smiling, Jackson replied, "Oh, not much. April just had the twins."

"Oh, baby, that's wonderful news! How big are they? How much do they weigh? What do they look like? Send me a photo real quick or better yet put me on FaceTime so I can see my new grand-babies."

"I've already forgotten how much they weigh and how long they are. The doctor told me but I was just glad to hear that April and the babies were alright. I haven't seen them yet. I'm on my way to the nursery."

"Wait. What happened, baby? Is April alright?"

"Yeah, she's fine. There were just some complications during the delivery. The twins were in fetal distress and they had to do an emergency c-section. Aprils stable though and should be awake within the hour."

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry. You must have been so scared."

Lowering his voice as he walked past a group of interns, he replied, "I was. I'd been looking forward to the birth of the twins for weeks now. I had this picture in my mind of how it was going to be not once did nearly losing April enter that picture."

"I know, baby. I know. She's the one for you."

Jackson waved his badge at the door of the nursery to gain entrance. "Yeah, she is. I know you're not her biggest fan, but I really appreciate you backing off of her these past few months."

"She's family now. What else can I do? I couldn't go on hating and resenting her forever. You any closer to my grand-babies?"

"Yeah," Jackson replied, standing in front of two cribs labeled Baby Boy Avery and Baby Girl Avery in a room full of twenty other babies. Inside were two of the most beautiful humans ever created. "They're so tiny, mom."

"Newborns tend to come that way," his mother replied drily.

Jackson stared in wonder at the two small lives before him, lives that he and April had created. They slept peacefully. They were swaddled from head to toe in a blanket with a hat covering their head. They didn't make a sound. They stayed still in their perfection.

"You still there?" his mom asked. "I want a picture."

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Jackson sat by April's side as she slowly regained consciousness.

"Hey," she said groggily as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"Hey," he replied back.

"Where are our children?"

A bark of laughter escaped Jackson's lips at her inquiry. "Why am I not surprised that our kids are the first thing on your mind? Jonah's sleeping peacefully at Arizona's and our two unnamed children are beginning to fuss in the nursery."

"Why aren't they here? I want to see them. And they're only unnamed because we couldn't come to a mutual agreement."

"My vote is still for Jack and Jill."

Lifting her arm weakly, April pointed towards the door. "Go get my babies," she ordered.

Jackson leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I was worried about you, you know. They didn't send in the B team to break the news to me. I thought something bad had happened." Rubbing his nose against hers, he whispered, "I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you."

April raised an IV-injected hand up to his face and reassuringly stroked his cheek. "I'm fine, Jackson. Dr. Carter took good care of me. Emergency c-sections aren't that uncommon especially with twins. It was a fairly routine procedure. There was no need for you to worry. And even if there was, know that I'm not leaving you and my babies without a fight. Speaking of my babies, why haven't you brought them to me yet?"

Jackson didn't move. He breathed in her subtle lavender scent. "I'll get them in a moment. I just want to be here with you for a second. I love you."

April wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him gently. "I know. I love you too."

"I'm glad I married you."

"I'm glad I married you too," April whispered back.

"Don't ever leave me again."

"I won't. I meant my vows. I'm here for better or for worse."

"For better or for worse."

Their lips met once more. As April pressed her mouth closer to his, Jackson backed away. "What…?" she asked blankly.

A smirk fell across Jackson's face. "You wanted to see your babies, didn't you? I was going to get them, but we could always just keep on kissing. It's up to you, babe."

Shaking her head, April playfully slapped her husband on the arm. "Go get our kids. We've got to figure out names for them after all."

* * *

"Be careful, Jonah. He's very fragile and little. Remember, gentle touches," April said as she put the tiny newborn in the arms of his big brother.

Looking down at this little brother, Jonah smiled. "He cute. What's his name?"

Jackson holding his daughter in his arms sat next to his sons. "His name is Elijah. Your sister's name is Elise."

"Hi Elijah!" Jonah exclaimed loudly, startling his little brother.

"Not so loud, sweetheart. You'll scare him," April gently admonished as she got back into her hospital bed.

"I sorry Elijah. I not want to scare you. My name's Jonah. I'm your brother."

Jonah seemed a little unimpressed that his brother didn't bother to respond. After a few more seconds of staring his brother down, Jonah turned to his father and said, "I not want to hold him anymore. He not do much. He kinda boring."

Jackson chuckled as he handed Elise off to her mother and took Elijah from Jonah. "They're not going to be very exciting for awhile Jonah. They're mostly gonna eat, cry, and poop."

Jonah giggled. "You say poop, daddy!"

April watched as her husband and son teased each other back and forth. Kissing the brow of her one and only daughter, she smiled. Her life at this moment was complete and utter perfection. She had everything she could ever ask for: a strong faith, three beautiful and wonderful children, a job that made her happy to get up each morning, and a loving husband. She had more blessings than she knew what to do with. Two years ago, she was a lonely, single mom, but now she had what she had always wanted - a family with Jackson.


End file.
